I’m married but I’m crazy about a female friend I have known for years
DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I’m happily married, I can’t get a woman I met years ago out of my head. I was, and still am, crazy about her.
I’m 42 and my wife is 40.
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I met this other woman at university and we were good friends from day one.
She is 41 and beautiful inside and out. I never timed it right to ask her out because I was terrified that if I revealed my feelings I’d lose her as a friend.
We would sit and talk for hours and have remained good friends over the years, texting on our birthdays and meeting up a couple of times a year.
She is married now and has two children.
My wife has met her a few times and although she was suspicious at first, the fact my friend is married allayed her fears.
It could just be a case of wanting what I can’t have.
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Would I be crazy to jeopardise all I have to tell my friend how I feel?
You only get one shot at life.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Keep your feelings to yourself and don’t disrupt her life.
There is no guarantee she feels the same.
She isn’t going to leave her marriage so keeping in touch is only going to work as friends.
For you, it’s more than that and every conversation and meeting is keeping you pulled in emotionally.
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Plus, more importantly it is stopping you putting your energies into your relationship with your wife.
My support pack Torn Between Two Women will help you think this through.