Becoming a teen mum was the shock of my life then my baby died – now I’m a midwife so his life wasn’t in vain
BECOMING pregnant at 17 was a huge shock but schoolgirl Aimiee Cavan was overwhelmed with love from the first moment she held her newborn son Riley in her arms.
However, fate had a cruel twist in store and baby Riley died just four weeks’ later after undergoing heart surgery.
Aimee, now 32, was heartbroken but despite her intense grief, she vowed to honour her son by training as a midwife, delivering up to five babies a day, and making sure other new mums get “their happy ending”.
Now a star of Channel 4’s new documentary series Belfast Midwives, Aimee explained: “I was a teenager and I got the shock of my life when I found out I was pregnant. I was 17. I sat my final A-Levels and then a week later, I gave birth to my little son Riley.
“I took my baby home and tried to navigate being a brand new parent, but also quite a young person, who didn’t really have much experience of those sorts of things.
“He became unwell. He had been born with a problem with his heart.
“By the time he had surgery, I think he was just a bit too weak to recover from it.
“He passed away a couple of days after surgery. He was born on the 30th of June 2008 and he passed away on the 31st of July 2008.”
Aimee was devastated but becoming a midwife at Belfast’s Royal Jubilee Maternity Service has helped her live a life that honours her son’s precious memory and the short time they shared together.
She explained: “After he had died, I needed to do something. Otherwise, it was going to be to my detriment.
“I needed something to get me up and out of the house. I went to college… I didn’t want that to be the end of the story.
“What has been really lovely for me is that I’ve been able to take that and use it as a motivation to provide really nice, safe, care for women. Make sure that they are taking home a well baby and that they get their happy ending.”
By the time he had surgery, I think he was just a bit too weak to recover from it
Aimiee Cavan
As well as her role as a midwife helping Aimee remember Riley, she also has a tattoo of his name on her wrist, as a daily reminder of her angelic baby boy.
Aimee said: “I had him for a period of time at home so I have so many of his clothes and blankets and lots of photos which are so precious.
“And I have a small tattoo on my wrist that can never be removed. It’s just a daily reminder for me.”
Since she qualified in 2014, Aimee’s welcomed “hundreds, if not thousands,” of babies into the world as a midwife and was blessed with another child herself, a daughter called Josie, 12, who she raises in a blended family with her new wife Becky, also a midwife, and three step-children.
She said: “I’ve actually been very, very blessed in life. A couple of years later, I went on to have a lovely little girl, Josie, 12.
“And I’ve also been incredibly lucky to be blessed with three absolutely incredible stepchildren. I’m part of this big, blended family and we have this really wonderful life.”
Being a midwife might be stressful but Aimee thinks it’s the best career in the world and says every baby is as special as the last.
I have a small tattoo on my wrist that can never be removed. It’s just a daily reminder for me
Aimiee Cavan
In the first episode of Belfast Midwives, viewers will see Aimee deliver a baby in a waterbirth.
As many as five babies can arrive in a single shift for Aimee who suspects her tally of births is near 1000.
She said: “I tried to keep count and then kind of lost track. I would say it’s definitely in the hundreds, maybe a thousand. The most (births) that I have ever been part of is five on one shift.”
No matter how many babies she delivers, Aimee says the magic never leaves her.
She said: “For me, every baby that comes out is as special as the last one. And the next one will be as special as that one.
“Sometimes when you do the same thing daily, you lose a little bit of passion or excitement for it. It’s a weird phenomenon but it never grows old.”
For me, every baby that comes out is as special as the last one
Aimiee Cavan
As well as delivering babies, Aimee is a specialist at catching fainting fathers who have become overwhelmed at the “first sight of blood”.
She said: “We have plenty of men who come in to support their partners. They can be big, macho, muscley men. And they’re the ones to hit the floor. We see that quite often.”
One thing that would make midwives’ lives easier is a more realistic portrayal of the birthing process on TV.
Because of the dramatic nature of TV births, many of Aimee’s mothers and fathers think the baby will arrive in minutes.
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She said: “It’s definitely an underlying problem that everybody on TV, their waters break and they give birth to their baby. They push their baby out in one push and it’s totally unrealistic.
“The timeframe for labour and birth is actually quite generous. And it can take a long time and that would be totally normal. And but there is a public perception, then sometimes it’s taking too long or there must be a problem.”
There is a national midwife shortage at the moment and Aimee is hoping that the current batch of new recruits fall in love with the vocation that has brought her so much happiness.
She said of the shortage: “It’s become a vicious circle. People leave, then the workload for those that remain gets a bit heavier.
“Then it nearly becomes too heavy so they leave, which then creates an even heavier workload on the people that have remained.
We are training more midwives now than ever before
Aimiee Cavan
“We are training more midwives now than ever before and I think in a couple of years’ time we’re going to really reap those rewards.
“We need to really invest in our students and support our students to make sure they come through their training, and feel like it has been good and it’s still something that they want.”
Not every birth story can have a happy ending as Aimee knows only too well, but she is proud of the support that is now available for bereaved parents.
Belfast’s Royal Jubilee Maternity Service, where the Channel 4 documentary has been filmed, has a dedicated bereavement midwife called Barbara Gergett, who has won awards for her heart-felt support of parents.
Aimee is proud of all her colleagues who help parents through miscarriages, still births and baby loss.
She said: “We take photos, hand prints, locks of hair, and all those things that become really invaluable memories for this family. Those things never lose their importance, no matter how many years have gone on.”
BELFAST MIDWIVES AIRS ON TUESDAYS AT 10PM ON CHANNEL 4
