Everyone loves my boyfriend except me and now I can’t stop cheating on him
DEAR DEIDRE: FAMILY and friends adore my boyfriend – he’s funny, kind, a great dad and a paramedic.
But the love has died for me and I can’t stop cheating on him.
Am I the nastiest woman alive?
I did it six months ago and on the surface we worked through our issues and are back on track.
But I’ve gone off the rails again and don’t know how to control it.
I’m 28 and he is 31. We’ve been together for five years and share our two-year-old son.
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Things were great at first, but I don’t feel like I used to.
As soon as he starts kissing me, I want him to stop. I don’t like it.
I am not sexually attracted to him. He loves me so much but I don’t think my affection is the same for him.
I was at a Christmas party and met a guy. My friend introduced me to him and left us to chat.
He is tall, good-looking and we found we had so much in common.
My boyfriend wasn’t there as he was working a night shift. I was with this man the whole evening and at the end of the party we kissed. I laughed but didn’t stop him.
He started caressing me and I loved it. We ended up going to his flat and having sex.
We began messaging and continued flirting. I have talked to my partner about us splitting up, but he gets very upset.
I don’t want to hurt him but I can’t keep cheating on him either.
I can’t talk to anyone about this. My family and friends all love my partner.
I also have to think about my little boy. I am so confused and don’t know what to do.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve been lucky and got away with it so far. But it is only a matter of time before you are found out again.
It might seem exciting to have secret sex with other men, but you are damaging your relationship with your partner, physically and emotionally.
That said, if your heart is no longer in it and you can’t make it work with him, then it would be best to end things.
The longer you leave it, the more hurt and resentful he will feel that he has been deceived again.
A sexy fling does not necessarily lead to a full-on relationship so don’t count on the other guy wanting anything serious.
My support pack, Torn Between Two Men, will help you to think this through.
Your son, although very young, will be picking up on the tension at home.
Remember, your partner can still be a loving and caring dad if you do separate.