Christine McGuinness reveals reason she stayed in ‘unhappy’ marriage to Top Gear host Paddy
CHRISTINE McGuinness says she stayed in an unhappy marriage with TV’s Paddy because her autism left her craving security.
The model, 34, told how she was raped in her adolescence and Paddy made her feel safe when she met him aged 19.
But the mum of three realised she had masked her feelings when she was diagnosed with autism two years ago.
Christine, who split with Paddy, 49, last year, said: “My relationships before I met Patrick were not very good. I’d say they were pretty bad experiences.
“Before Patrick, I had been sexually abused, I was raped. I used to pray every night that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning because it was so awful.
“When I met my husband that was a time when I was very safe and I wonder if that’s why I stayed.”
She added of their 15-year relationship: “I know that I’ve stayed in a place where I was probably unhappy because it was safe and I don’t like change.”
Christine, who has twins Leo and Penelope, eight, and Felicity, six, with Top Gear host Paddy, makes her candid confession in a BBC1 show next week.
Autism has a range of characteristics, such as social interaction problems.
Christine was only diagnosed after her children were found to have the condition.
Christine, who grew up with her single mum on a Liverpool council estate, said: “My autistic traits were just misunderstood as being naughty at school.
“I remember it being the worst time of my life, to the point where I didn’t want to live.
“The thought of going into school every day was horrific, it was just the worst place for me to go.”
She tipped tables over during outbursts and hated the “huge, loud” canteen — eventually getting diagnosed with an eating disorder.
She left at 14 with no qualifications and entered beauty pageants, wearing huge ballgowns and shimmering jewellery.
She said: “It was then I realised the power of pretending. When I was dressed up like that, like a princess, you were treated like a princess. But everything was borrowed.”
Christine revealed her diagnosis helps her relationship with her kids.
She added: “We talk about it quite openly at home. I want them to understand themselves, I want them to be proud and not ashamed of it and just to own it and know that it’s a part of them and nothing is going to hold them back.”
She also told how she has been inundated with support from the public.
Christine said: “I get stopped every single day and more often than not it’s a parent of an autistic child, or a carer, or someone who is autistic themselves, and it’s just amazing.
“I stand and talk to people now like I know them and they know me and that’s lovely.”
- CHRISTINE McGuinness: Unmasking My Autism, BBC1, March 15.