Kind Of A Jesus Christ Thing
As you may have heard, there's some big mob boss getting arraigned in New York for the first 34 of his bounteous crimes, sins, grifts and unholy transgressions, and as Biden likes to say, it's a big fucking deal. It seems law enforcement offered to do it quietly, but the mobster wanted it splashy. So it will be, with "law enforcement zoo," snipers, perp walk, shrieking zealots. Says one poor cop burdened with it, "It'll be a shitshow.”
Weirdly, Trump's arraignment comes even as more crimes continue to come to light, and as the stable genius we all know him to be keeps further incriminating himself. In one of four other criminal investigations, the DOJ and FBI reportedly have fresh evidence for Jack Smith's probe into the mishandling of classified documents at Mar-a-lago, with the focus on possible and seriously felonious obstruction of justice. To speed them along, Trump appeared on Hannity to discuss the documents while stubbornly resisting every effort by his Fox bestie to clear himself. Hannity: “I can’t imagine you ever saying: ‘Bring me some of the boxes we brought back from the White House. I’d like to look at them.’” Genius: "I would do that. I would definitely do that...I have the right to take stuff." Hannity: "Alright, let me move on.."
With Trump now moving on to Tuesday's arraignment, a law enforcement official told Rolling Stone that over weeks of negotiations between the D.A., Secret Service, NYPD et al and Trump's team of thugs and sycophants, law enforcement offered a quiet, night-time surrender, and Trump insisted on a circus: mid-day, big-crowd, ready-for-his-closeup booking at the Manhattan courthouse. "He wanted a perp walk, he wanted daylight hours," says the security official. "He wants to get out of the vehicle...He wants to greet the crowd...It's kind of a Jesus Christ thing. He's saying, ‘I’m absorbing all this pain (so) you don’t have to.’ His message is, 'If they can do this to me, they can do this to you" (if you've done enough bad things there are at least four ongoing criminal investigations into you and that doesn't include all the rapey stuff).
The result will be a circus-like array of law enforcement complete with counter-snipers on rooftops, courthouse floors above and below the arraignment secured, omnipresent NYPD in riot gear outside, 40 armed, dead-eyed Secret Service agents in suits and sunglasses circling the courthouse, Trump’s personal goon detail, known as “the shift,” inches away from him at all times, with hordes of media jostling for access. The arraignment is scheduled for 2:30 p.m; Trump, glowing orange, is expected to arrive around 11:30 a.m. He will be fingerprinted and processed, but not handcuffed: “Secret Service said absolutely not, no cuffs, no way.” The mug shot we've all long hungered for will be taken in the booking office; it will presumably be loudly celebrated by the 60% of Americans who, in a new poll, say "Lock Him Up."
Still, there are always the MAGA zombies, wrapped in flags, waving "Trump Or Death" banners, invited by the city's Young Republican Club to protest "Alvin Bragg's heinous attack" on Trump, though actually it's a jury of ordinary Americans' heinous attack: "New York, put your MAGA hats on!" The event features "Perjorie" Taylor Greene, who's already announced, "I reject any attempt and anyone who dresses in MAGA but incites violence (while) pretending to be one of us. You are not one of us, you are one of them." She also threw a fit when Mayor Eric Adams urged the crowd be "on your best behavior," which in Klan Mom-ese became the mayor "trying to intimidate, threaten, and stop me from using my 1st amendment rights" while he "should be more concerned about NY citizens and taxpayers being murdered, raped, robbed, and carjacked."
In the name of civic engagement, a patriot at Daily Kos offered Greene and her MAGA cohorts a warm welcome and some helpful hints for navigating the Big (blue) Apple: "The absolute best way to get around in New York is to drive, as there is little traffic here... Obvious attractions are the picturesque Lincoln and Holland Tunnels...Parking is a breeze!" They're also sure to find cheap hotels with spacious rooms, restaurants with only "good, familiar 'American' food," everyone is white and Trump is "truly beloved." Finally, if you're sick of hearing about "former fake president Donald Jessica Trump," it's suggested the media "take a tiny break from covering what Trump had for lunch" to see what's happening in Nashville, where kids are flooding the streets to demand an end to gun violence and insist, "We can't keep living and dying like this."
Grumpy Trumpy Felon from Jamaica in Queens! - A Randy Rainbow Song Parody www.youtube.com