My partner prefers gaming over spending quality time with me
DEAR DEIDRE: ON our anniversary I bought the hottest lingerie I could find to tempt my fiancé into bed for sex.
It worked a treat but what he did next was so deflating. Within moments, without even a cuddle, he was back on his Xbox.
I’m 30 and he’s 29. My boyfriend always enjoyed gaming and it was never a problem until lockdown.
Now he’s utterly obsessed with it.
We are supposed to be getting married in the autumn but I’ve done all the wedding planning myself because he takes no interest.
His idea of “quality time” is ten minutes at the kitchen table, downing a meal I’ve spent hours cooking.
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Then it’s back to his Xbox.
He’s on it at least six hours during an evening and more at weekends.
I was sounding off to a friend and she suggested I buy new underwear to make myself “irresistible”.
I took a half day to prepare a meal and dressed up for dinner. It was our five-year anniversary, which I knew he’d forget.
I cooked his favourite meal and lit some candles.
When he got in from work and saw me he asked, “What are we celebrating?”
His eyes were on stalks and he kissed me, then took me to the bedroom.
When he was satisfied, he jumped up and said, “Where’s that dinner then?
I told the boys I’d be online by 8.30pm.
Could you bring me up a plate on a tray?”
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
He used to be great, helping me with cooking and cleaning. Now he’s lazy and an inconsiderate lover.
He idolises his mother, too. For Mother’s Day we had to take her out for lunch and he bought her a huge bouquet.
I can’t remember the last time we went for dinner, and he’s never bought me flowers.
I don’t want to be a nag but I think he prefers gaming to me.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your relationship is one-sided.
You had better be sure he doesn’t think he’s marrying a substitute mother either.
When you have his attention, explain that you are feeling at the bottom of his list of priorities.
Ask him whether he genuinely wants to get married and listen carefully to his answer.
Ask whether he could have at least two nights a week where he isn’t gaming, perhaps having a date night?
Sex shouldn’t be purely about him, either.
My support pack How To Look After Your Relationship may help. But if things don’t change, you may have to consider calling off your wedding