Spurs Excel in the Theatre of the Absurd

For the final twenty minutes, the Spurs players depicted the chaos at the club through the medium of football. It was high art. Pure brainless mayhem, all self-inflicted. As a portrayal of the life and times of Tottenham Hotspur, the sheer theatre of it will never be surpassed.

A goal up against 10 men playing a team fighting relegation, who played for all but 13 minutes without a proper centre forward, and our response is to degenerate into a mindless rabble. Rather than acting as incentive or inspiration, the prospect of holding onto a lead terrifies them, such is their mindset.

(Ex) Manager, chairman and players must all bear their fair share of responsibility for the turmoil at the club. Here the focus is on the players, though. Where there should be heart and soul, ambition and determination, there lies only a gaping void. We are the tin men of football.

We have discovered the ability to lose from decent positions, and we may not take much from this season but boy, we’re not going to let that honour slip without a fight. We’re stroking the ball around, back three move up into the space, fine if we can ponce about a bit, then it all collapses as soon as we come under any pressure. Last night, Saints the game before, even Sheffield where we weren’t ahead but they sussed our weakness after an hour and took advantage, as they should.

I’d like Spurs players to pass the ball to other Spurs players. There, I’ve said it. (Other radical tactical insights are also available, including, why do we emphasise the creation of goalscoring opportunities for wingbacks, if they were any good at scoring goals, they’d be forwards not wingbacks?) Is that expecting too much? Apparently so. Time and again Everton, with 11 men then 10 pressed us into giving the ball away. Sanchez came on and to get a feel of the game, with studied precision looked up and passed it 15 yards to an opponent. But he was only following the example of Hojbjerg, Skipp and the other defenders, all equally culpable, as was Hugo, who had an all too familiar brain freeze whenever the ball landed at his feet. The anxiety spread from the back, from the leader.

This performance, this theatre of the absurd, was horrendous and laughable at the same time. Moura on, the most experienced of a callow bench, gets himself sent off in double quick time. Doesn’t play badly, no, that’s not enough for our Lucas, goes straight for the red card.

It is ridiculous, and I can barely contain my fury at what Spurs have become. Not for the first time this season, I’m left shouting into the emptiness, what are you THINKING? New guys in charge but Conte’s presence is very much with us. They are conditioned into playing one way. Whether it works or not appears irrelevant to those in charge. No spark, no improvisation. Play out from the back even though our opponents have closed down those routes but we carry on doing it and making the same errors. Go longer, safer and they have a man less, so there’s a good chance our three forwards have some space, but there’s no adjustment to what is happening in the game at any particular time.

What are the managers seeing? Really, I’d like to know. Because it’s not what I see. Goal up against 10 men and we sit back. Allow ourselves to become trapped in the press instead of breaking free. Outnumbered in midfield with our two against their three or four – why not bring on another midfielder? Fail to close down at the edge of our box, repeat to fade and the season is lost. I didn’t anticipate any major changes with Stellini in charge, he’s Conte’s disciple after all, but I hoped we would follow the example of a couple of other games when he was in charge earlier this season when we kept a similar shape but moved it up the field ten yards and took the game to our opponents. Or maybe I imagined that. Is it fanciful to think Mason might have done better on his own, to give players fresh ideas and impetus?

The players must take their share of the blame but as I’ve said before (this piece has ended up repeating so much of what has gone before), the modern player expects to be coached, whether or not you think that’s a good or a bad thing. Take Romero for instance, all over the shop again yesterday. He benefits from being told to stay tight in a three so he can do his best work in and around the box. Left to his own devices he’s less effective and more liable to commit reckless fouls. Nobody can rely on anyone else.

A reminder, if only to myself, that we didn’t lose and still have something to play for this season, a telling comment on the standards of the league this season. But this result and the manner of it has real impact because it hammers home the chaos and disunity from top to bottom and a reminder that fans have seen Spurs waste more opportunities for genuine success in the last decade and a half than most other clubs have come their way in two or three lifetimes.