Mississippi's GOP governor signs Confederate Heritage Month proclamation and dates it ... April 31

It’s weird how some Southerners are so keen to commemorate the brief period (160-odd years ago!) when their ancestors committed treason against the U.S.—all so they could continue to torture and “own” other human beings—and then got their ruddy arses stomped into the dirt, along with their vile ethos. Seriously, isn’t that bizarre? It would be like a white person throwing an elaborate party in 2023 to commemorate the time their grandpa got ferociously drunk at the county fair, screamed racist vulgarities at a group of Black children, and then proceeded to lose an arm on the Tilt-a-Whirl.

But hey, they love their “heritage” so much they can’t stop regurgitating it all over the rest of the country, whether we like it or not. So what Americans get are statues of traitors all across the United States and grotesqueries like Mississippi’s Confederate Heritage Month.

And as a little bonus chef’s kiss, the state’s Republican governor dated his Heritage Month proclamation “April 31, 2023”—a date that will surely live in infamy … because it doesn’t exist.

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