Celebrity jeweler Neil Lane says social media has changed the way people approach engagement rings and couples should shop together to avoid mistakes
Jewelry expert Neil Lane told Insider it's a mistake not to ask your partner what they want their ring to look like before you propose.
Ariel Skelley/Getty Images
- Insider spoke to jewelry expert Neil Lane about engagement rings.
- He said it's key for those shopping for engagement rings to have an idea of what their partner wants.
- Most people want to have a say in what their ring looks like today, according to Lane.
When you start thinking about shopping for an engagement ring, you'll be inundated with information.
You will probably learn about the four Cs of diamonds, alternative stones available for engagement rings, and the differences between lab-grown and naturally-sourced diamonds.
For the person proposing, it may be your instinct to research those elements on your own and surprise your partner with the ring you like best.
But according to Neil Lane, jewelry designer for celebrities, Kay Jewelers, and "The Bachelor," it's probably better to bring your partner into the shopping process.
E! Entertainment / Contributor / Getty Images
Traditionally, proposals were a complete surprise, and the person who was being proposed to had no idea what their engagement ring would look like. But as Lane told Insider, that's often not a good idea today.
"You can't buy a ring for someone, your beloved, and not know their style," he said.
As Lane explained, people's expectations of engagement rings have changed in recent years, particularly because of social media.
"Now, everyone knows about their style and their fashion," Lane said. "They're looking at Instagram and they have an idea" of what they want in a ring.
An engagement ring is of course a symbol of the life two people will spend together, but it's also a piece of jewelry you wear every day.
Because of the accessibility of options, people are more likely to have a preference for what they want their ring to look like today based on how it fits in with their personal style and what's trending in jewelry, according to Lane.
That's why Lane thinks the trend of couples shopping for rings together is smart, as it gives the person receiving the ring a chance to tell their partner what they like and don't like when it comes to engagement rings.
"Even though she may not be surprised totally, she has an idea what she's gonna get," he told Insider. "You can't do that to someone today and give them a ring that they're not gonna like."
Doni Persada/Getty Images
If you want your proposal to be a complete surprise, Lane recommends speaking to someone close to your partner, like their mom or best friends, so you buy a ring your partner will love.
"Don't buy a ring that she's not gonna like," Lane advised. "Know your partner's style, know what they like, and try to get that. Don't try to make the ring that you love the ring that they're gonna love."
And typically, he says it's not hard to find out what your partner wants, even if you do want to surprise them.
"No one's shy about letting you know what kind of ring they want," he said. "People aren't shy about letting their partners know what they want."