Balancing through life – far away from home

It’s raining hard outside Gamle Scene in Kongens Nytorv, the home of Danish ballet. The street seems deserted, but Holly Dorger magically appears out of the cityscape – bang on cue, just like you would expect from one of the world’s best principal ballerinas.

But her journey to greatness hasn’t been easy. When she moved here aged just 18, she was very much alone – mirroring the experience of thousands of other expats who have relocated here for work or studies. 

“I knew nothing about Denmark,” she recalled in an accent mostly unaffected by her time in Denmark. 

“I didn’t even know where it was – like somewhere in Scandinavia.” 

She pauses. 

“Sweden? And I had never heard of Bournonville [the famous Danish ballet dancer, master and choreographer]. I was hesitant to come.”

In time, despite an uncertain start, she has grown to love it here, finding a second family among her colleagues at the Royal Ballet, who in times of need have been a huge support.

It’s very much as a proud homeowner, therefore, when Holly Dorger invites me backstage at Gamle Scene.

Where magic really happens
The first thing you notice about the 33-year-old American is her posture. Erect spine, elevated chest, serene countenance – she is a cathedral of composure as we exchange pleasantries and start to walk around the cavernous building.

But after a while I notice her legs have a different agenda. Rarely still for long, every stair presents an opportunity for a quick stretch of the calves, or manipulation of the ankles.

Certainly, there’s a lot to see. The Petit Pentagon’s outer walls do not betray the vast corridors or furious industry of pirouettes and plié that wait inside, or the “intense love and warmth” of the Danes working behind the scenes, who Holly Dorger greets by name – the very rock on which she has built a life here in Denmark. 

And when we enter the inner-sanctum of the stage area itself, to listen to a matinee opera in full flow, it’s a beguiling experience: a glimpse into Holly Dorger’s domain where magic really happens. 

In a cauldron of creativity
There’s a glint in her eye when she tells me how she grew up believing in magic – like anything is possible in her world. Santa Claus is a case in point: “the magic of going to bed and then waking up the next morning with a Christmas tree full of presents”. 

“My Mom would put a ripped piece of red cloth in the chimney. Or some chewed carrots from the reindeer, while Dad would eat Santa’s cookies – you know, things like that, but you just completely believed in it,” she recalled at the same brisk rate she no doubt ran the stairs.

Holly Dorger questions whether the Danish approach to the likes of Father Christmas, when the presents are “brought in by somebody’s brother or uncle dressed up as Santa”, stimulates the imagination in quite the same way. 

“I believe on the stage there’s magic every time we perform. You don’t know what’s going to happen. Yes, you’ve worked hard, yes, you’ve put in all the effort, but there’s also a bit of magic, and I think that stems from when I was a kid. I believed in magic,” she contended.

Dancing her second nature
‘Mom’ was an ice skater who would take Holly Dorger to her adult ballet classes where she would “waddle around”. 

For every birthday party, a dancer would perform: ballet, Hawaiian, Scottish Highland – it was typical of the way her mother liked to stir her imagination. 

Aged ten, Holly Dorger won the United States Championship in Highland Dancing and went on to compete in the discipline all over the world.

She went on to gain a place at the prestigious School of American Ballet, the scene of the meeting that would change her life.

Dorky kid meets the star
It’s been a sensitive time for Holly Dorger these past few months. Not only is she going through a “horrible” divorce, but her long-term dancing partner, Marcin Kupinski, has just turned 40, and with that he had to turn in his ballet shoes.

It was another retirement that paved Holly Dorger’s path to Copenhagen: Nikolaj Hübbe’s. At her school, where Hübbe taught classes, Holly Dorger caught the future Royal Danish Ballet artistic director’s eye. 

“He was a big star at the New York City Ballet and I was just a dorky kid. But then, when I was 18, he wanted to take a dancer to Denmark to represent the New York style, and his choice was me.”

Holly Dorger had never heard of Denmark. 

“My school was so hyper-focused on the New York City Ballet, I thought I’d failed. I didn’t want to leave my family. It was a bit of a shock, and when I moved I was so lonely,” she recalled.

“The season started in mid-August and it was my birthday in October. I went to McDonald’s and got a McFlurry.”

READ ALSO: Learning Danish was her key to success

Like a silent movie
Initially, like many new arrivals, Holly Dorger found her hosts quite cold. 

“In America it’s much easier to talk to one another – like in the grocery store because the price of bananas went up 10 cents,” she said. “But then you ‘get in’ and now some of my closest friends are Danish.”

Holly Dorger advises newcomers to the city in search of Danish friends to make the first move.

“If you want to talk, talk! If they think you’re weird, then let them think you’re weird. But hey, you might make a really good friend because you started the conversation instead of being timid and not saying anything just to be like everyone else,” she advised.

Understand, but be yourself!
Learning the language has helped – a sustained effort she is proud of – although she doesn’t feel 100 percent confident to always speak it. 

“I understand more than I can say. I’ve even applied to become a Dane. I should know in about six months.”

Holly Dorger has struggled more with the approach to competition.

“I think America definitely has that go-getter, shoot-for-the-moon type of attitude. But in Denmark it’s: ‘Don’t try to stand out. Don’t present yourself like you’re better. Just do your thing, quietly.’ It was the first time I was told ambition was a bad thing,” she recalled.

She grins.

“But I don’t think I ever changed. It has nothing to do with anybody else, but I want to be the best I can be: to fulfill my potential. You can take the girl out of New York, right? But you can’t take New York out of the girl.”

Peak of her powers 
As a principal ballerina, Holly Dorger’s biggest competitor is herself: 

“It’s a beautiful career, but it’s a hard career. It’s not just tutus and tiaras and sparkles. It’s a mental mind game. I would say the hardest part is staying focused on yourself.”

Cast in some of the most demanding roles in ballet, including the leads in ‘Giselle’ and ‘Swan Lake’, she relentlessly pushes technical boundaries.

“I’m always trying to add harder turns or sequences: it’s a now or never attitude; you don’t know how long it’ll last,” she reasoned. 

“I love to perform. Yeah, I can get nervous. But I’ve done a lot of difficult roles. And now, it’s almost like it’s time to play.”

The emotional power of her performance, meanwhile, comes from personal experience. She reflects on her divorce: 

“That’s very much the White Swan right there. That’s basically me just tapping into my real life. She’s so innocent and so pure, and she’s completely betrayed.”

Happy hugs in the hallway
Despite her divorce, Holly Dorger is excited to be independent again: 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. When you’re out of a bad situation, what freedom you feel!”

She has her first film to look forward to. Delayed by corona, it’s a Scandinavian-set movie about four aspiring ballerinas in which she has been cast as the prima ballerina they all look up to.

And then there is her work, which she couldn’t be happier about, in the magical building she frequents every day: from the workers behind the scenes to her fellow dancers, and let’s not forget the young students from the KGL ballet school!

“They have so much love to give! I hear them as I walk down the hallway: ‘Holly, Holly, Holly!, and I just put out my arms and they all come running for hugs. The love and warmth that is in this building!” she enthused.

“And especially in this past year, the support from the company and my boss Nikolaj Hübbe, who I 100 percent support and adore, is so amazing. I feel so extremely grateful and so blessed to be here.”

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Holly Dorger:

Age: 33

Education: Scholarship at American School of Ballet

Profession: Ballet Dancer

In Denmark since: 2008

Holly Dorger recommends… :

Restaurant: Juju with chef Kristian Baumann – the sesame rice ice cream is not to be missed!

Drinks: Nothing better than buying a few beers and sitting at the top of Kastellet with friends.

Hangout: Inipi – a Sauna Gus Experience.

Coffee House: Espresso House at the top of Magasin – hazelnut latte with a slice of carrot cake

Park: Kongens Have – the garden strip at the far end of the park. So beautiful!

Attraction: Hermes statue on the rooftop of Varehuset Messen on Købmagergade.

Museum: SMK. Loved the Matisse exhibit!

Place outside CPH: Frederiksborg Castle & Baroque Gardens.

Activity: Ballet. I know it’s cheesy but I really love what I do.

Holly Dorger’s passions… : 

Her cat ‘Blue’ – I love that little fluff muffin

Her friends – We love karaoke!

Writing – Ambition is to write a book

Walks in the park – loves Frederiksberg/Søndermarken

Sliders – burgers and karaoke in a private room; the best

Teaching – I love to teach! Last year I taught a KGL summer course, and I teach private or group classes whenever my schedule allows it.

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