Jon Bon Jovi says he approves of his 20-year-old son's engagement to 19-year-old Millie Bobby Brown. A therapist agrees that young love can succeed.
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- Jon Bon Jovi's 20-year-old son Jake Bongiovi appears to be engaged to 19-year-old actress Millie Bobby Brown.
- In an interview, Andy Cohen asked Bon Jovi if he was "worried" about them getting engaged young.
- A therapist told Insider that young people can have successful marriages if they're committed to understanding each other and themselves.
"Stranger Things" star Millie Bobby Brown, recently shared an Instagram posted suggesting she's engaged to Jon Bon Jovi's son, 20-year-old Jake Bongiovi.
Brown and Bongiovi confirmed that they were dating in November 2021. Brown's April 11 Instagram post, which features a picture of them embracing and Brown sporting a shiny ring, is full of comments from fans debating whether the starlets are too young for marriage.
The debate continued when Bongiovi's father, Jon Bon Jovi, went on Andy Cohen's radio show on May 2, where Cohen asked Bon Jovi if he was "worried" about the couple's engagement, considering their young ages, Insider's Palmer Haasch previously reported.
"I don't know if age matters, you know, if you find the right partner and you grow together. I think that would be my advice, really, is growing together is wise. Growing together," Bon Jovi told Cohen. "And so, I think that all of my kids have found the people that they think they can grow together with, and we like them all."
Bon Jovi could be onto something, according to Moraya Seeger DeGeare, a couples therapist and in-house relationship expert for the intimacy-building app Paired.
Despite younger couples having less lived experience, they can sometimes be more insightful and relationship-ready than older couples, said DeGeare, who has counseled couples who are 19 as well as those who are decades older.
She said that a marriage can be beautiful and healthy regardless of the couple's ages, so long as both partners show a willingness to understand each other, the ability to overcome hard times as a team, and a commitment to self-growth.
How you get through hard times is more important than age, a therapist says
According to DeGeare, how a couple navigates the not-so-fun moments of their relationship can be a huge indicator of their marriage potential, whether a couple is in their twenties, eighties, or somewhere in between.
She said that if a couple can resolve conflicts in a healthy way — hearing each other out without becoming defensive, finding ways to compromise, and providing support — it's a sign they trust each other and can evolve together.
"A lot of us can have friendships and relationships when it's easy, but the hard moments really show us who people are and if we can count on them," DeGeare said.
Though young people are less likely to experience the death of a parent, job loss, or moving to a new city together, there are plenty of moments when 20-somethings must learn to navigate big changes and harsh realities, DeGeare said. She said that parents divorcing, a loved one getting diagnosed with an illness, or a death in the family are a few examples of tough moments a younger couple may have to navigate.
And since Brown and Bongiovi are young celebrities, they've likely weathered more difficult and "grown-up" moments than the average 19- or 20-year-0ld, she said.
Being vulnerable and curious with each other is a sign you can grow together
Outside of major difficulties and milestones, a commitment to regular curiosity and vulnerability is a sign a young couple is on the right track, according to DeGeare.
She suggested partners ask themselves, "Do I feel like I'm still getting closer to my partner?" as their relationship continues to ensure they're committed to intimacy, not just going through the motions of a partnership.
"It's not, 'Oh we can go to the movies together, we study together, we pay bills together,' but really seeing if you like how your relationship keeps progressing," DeGeare said.
She said that these moments can happen during conflict resolution or when a partner is vulnerable in asking for something they need, since it shows that partners respect themselves and each other.
Intimate growth can happen during happy times too, when you're spending quality time together or sharing treasured memories or deep thoughts, said DeGeare. She said that if something exciting happens to you and you immediately want to share with your partner, that's a good sign.
"All of these little joyful moments of connection build intimacy. If you're good at it and your partner's good at it, you could build a real relationship from an appropriately young age," DeGeare said.