Texas schools hand out Winnie-the-Pooh books showing 4-year-olds how to foil active shooters

Telling kids to stick their heads in a pot of honey in case a rampaging murderer with an AR-15 shows up at their school is sadly not the worst idea conservatives have ever had. That said, the competition is pretty fierce. These are the same folks who popularized the Laffer curve, decided it would be a barrel of laughs to play the blackout challenge with the world economy, and think an unrepentant insurrectionist who’s roughly 93% evil and 7% Funyuns belongs back in the Oval Office.

Instead of, I dunno, passing gun laws that might make it marginally more difficult to storm into an elementary school and go full Putin on their arses, Texas is now handing out Winnie-the-Pooh books that show kids what to do in the event of an active-shooting situation. Which should be perfectly acceptable to most Republican parents so long as Eeyore doesn’t suddenly come out as gay while sobbing in the cloakroom. Because, you know, it goes without saying that Republicans prefer a clinically depressed Eeyore to one who’s allowed to live his truth. 

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