I’m a mum-of-5 from 3 dads – I’m trolled for relying on ‘men for money’, people say I caused broken homes
HAVING one child is stressful enough.
But ‘mumtrepreneur’ Rebecca Barr, 40, has FIVE – and three of them have different dads.
The super organised women’s business coach is mum to Amelie 12, Brooke, 10, Rhyley, nine, Luciano, four, and Aviana, one.
And it gets stressful. For example this weekend her eldest daughter is seeing her dad, the two middle children are hanging out with their father and the youngest two are with their father.
It means complex scheduling for Rebecca who had her first daughter at 28, her second at 30, her third at 31, her fourth at 36, and her fifth at 40.
Sadly trolls have turned on her, calling her a “broken home mother of many” and “a glamour who relies on men for money.”
But she’s proved them wrong, also owning a property empire worth £1.1m and running a company coaching women in business called the Femalepreneur Coach.
“I have five children by three different dads and there’s nothing wrong with it,” Rebecca, from Kingston-Upon-Thames, Greater London, said proudly.
“I embrace my unique and blended family and make enough money myself to give them the life I never had growing up.
“I’m incredibly lucky that instead of bitterness I have good relationships with the men who are my children’s dads.”
“As a mum with five children I have huge empathy with female clients because I understand their pressures as mothers.”
Rebecca, who spent time homeless as a child after her dad died when she was four and he was 25 and her now-dead mum subsequently struggled, has a masters degree in human resources, and runs a successful global business coaching company with clients all over the world.
I have five children by three different dads and there’s nothing wrong with it
Rebecca Barr
“It’s not what people expect from a mum of five with three baby daddies,” she said. “I get insults including people assuming I am on government handouts or being called irresponsible because my children have different dads but I’m always challenging expectations.
“I won’t take criticism or abuse. That is something to be proud of.
“I am proud of my extended family and proud of my kids having three dads. I refuse to let anyone troll me.
“It’s that determination and refusal to be brought down by vile trolls and negative people that makes me a great mum and a great business coach.
“I help women build their business online by providing advice about marketing, how to manage their money, how to build a business and how to decide which business would suit their family needs.
“It’s the same determination that helped me build a real estate empire which was at one stage worth over a million.”
Despite her tough upbringing, Rebecca managed to buy a house in Watford at 18, and then a second home at 28.
She also invested in a run-down men’s barber shop and turned it into an award winning salon at 32.
“It was done through hard work, determination, penny pinching and learning on the job,” she said.
In fact Rebecca reckons her parenting and subsequent organisational skills have helped her grow her business.
“Men who have children with three or four different women are considered heroes – women are not,” she said.
“I’m here to prove people wrong and to show how my skills in my personal and family life translate to successful business creation.”
At just 15, Rebecca was homeless because her family house was repossessed due to debt and they were forced into hostel accommodation.
She left school at 16 and started working three jobs.
“Even as a teen I wanted a home,” she said. I knew it was an investment I could rely on and so I focussed on that. It represented safety for me.
Rebecca's Timeline
- Left school at 16 and worked three jobs.
- Met boyfriend at 18, bought a house at 19, married at 25 but it ended in divorce in 2008.
- Bought a house for £250,000 with her own savings.
- Met second partner at 26 and had daughter Amelie in 2010. This relationship then ended.
- Met her third partner in 2012 and had her second child, Brooke. During this pregnancy, she graduated from university. She had her third child, Rhyley, in 2014. This relationship then ended.
- Sold her home for £400k and invested in a barber shop business in 2015 following the death of her mum.
- Welcomed fourth child, Luciano, with partner she met through business.
- Welcomed fifth child Aviana in 2022.
- She is now a single mum-of-five proving people wrong and showing how her skills in her personal and family life translate to successful business creation.
She met her first husband, then 23, when she was 18.
By 19 Rebecca and her then-boyfriend had bought a £150,000 three-bedroom-home in Watford.
Rebecca was married at 25 in a wedding costing £40,000.
Sadly the marriage ended in February 2008. But Rebecca had saved enough money to put a deposit down on a three-bedroom, £250,000 house in Borehamwood.
“Signing that mortgage myself was a big achievement,” she said. “It inspired me to look at property as a business and to get smart with money.”
“I met my second partner, then 26, through friends the same year,” she said. We conceived Amelie who arrived in November 2010.
“I was working on a contract basis and only had a six-week maternity leave.”
But sadly this relationship also ended and in January 2012 Rebecca met her next partner and three months later was pregnant with her second child.
In July 2012, heavily pregnant with her second child, Rebecca, graduated university.
“For me that was a massive achievement,” she said. Brooke, now 10, arrived in January 2013 and Rebecca took six months maternity leave.
Within six months Rebecca was expecting again and welcomed Rhyley, now eight, in April 2014.
But the relationship ended. “I was determined the kids would come first and worked hard to accommodate the dads’ schedules around the kids and my work,” she said.
“My mum was helping out and I’d bought a house for her near mine. It meant scrimping and saving but having her close by was critical.”
Then in 2015 Rebecca’s world fell apart when her mum suffered a stroke, became ill and later died.
“I had three kids under five, my mum’s illness was devastating and without her help with childcare I had to give up my job,” she said.
“I was determined not to be unemployed for long. I decided to put the money I had in property to work in another business.”
Rebecca took a huge gamble selling her three bedroom home for £400,000 and investing in a barber shop business.
“I knew nothing about men’s hairdressing but I had business acumen, I was skilled in human resources and a fast learner,” she said.
But men who have children with three or four women are considered heroes, women are not, we’re labelled and looked down on
Rebecca Barr
In July 2018 Rebecca welcomed her fourth child, Luciano, now four, with her partner who she met through business.
Her fifth child followed in August last year with the birth of Aviana, now one.
Rebecca is now single and a mum of five.
“The children’s dads and I have worked really hard to be a team. Hate isn’t something we do.
“But men who have children with three or four women are considered heroes, women are not, we’re labelled and looked down on.
“I’m here to prove people wrong and to show how my skills in my personal and family life translate to successful business creation.
But juggling five children and three dads is still tricky, said Rebecca.
“I’m so busy with work but I’ll never miss the school run. And I eat every day with the kids if they’re not seeing their dads. I also schedule one on one-time with each child every day. The bath and bed routine are also sacred.
“Still, I get weird looks when I say I have five children and three dads.
“People tell me I don’t look like a ‘multi baby daddy mum’. That’s offensive. We come in all shapes and sizes and people should respect us.
“For me, people who criticise are simply miserable with their own lives. I love my children. I love my life and my relationships have taught me so much. I am glad their kids have great dads, and we work well together.”