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2023

Chris Pratt Tells Us His Very Best (Fairly Awful) Dad Joke

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How can you tell if a joke is a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

The thing about dad jokes is that they’re all kind of bad—but that's the point. It doesn't matter if they’re corny, stupid, or legitimately clever, dad jokes embrace their inherent terribleness and that's what makes them funny. And as the verbal equivalent of "Pull my finger," dad jokes are always funniest to the person telling them.

Related: Chris Pratt on How Being a Father Has Made Him a Better Actor

“The reason that dads do dad jokes is to make the children unhappy,” said comedian Jim Gaffigan on The Drew Barrymore Show, “It’s the fact that they’re so bad that they annoy a child brings joy to an older man.”

“It does the same for women,” Drew Barrymore replied.

Barrymore is right, of course, dad jokes aren’t limited to fathers, they're just named after them, which is a joke on a whole other level.

Talking to Men’s Journal, Chris Pratt says he finds joy in a great bad joke.

“I don’t know if there are ever any 'good' dad jokes. But they are almost funnier to everyone involved the worse they are. You have to be clean, of course, you can’t have a super blue joke for kids,” says Pratt.

In honor of Father’s day, we asked Pratt, and several of our other favorite actors, athletes, and adventurers to tell us their best dad jokes. Enjoy.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Jalapeño.

Jalapeño who?

Jalapeño business!

Chris Pratt, actor

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the street?

It got caught in a crack!

Jimmy Chin, climber and filmmaker

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow wh...

Moo.

Matthew Heafy, lead singer for Trivium and Twitch streamer

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the shell station.

Josef Newgarden, IndyCar driver and Indy 500 champion

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

A Christian bail!

Tom Hopper, actor, The Umbrella Academy

What did the astronaut Buzz Aldrin say about being the second person on the Moon?

Neil before me.

Drew Powell, actor, Gotham

I used to hate facial hair…

But then it grew on me!

Paul Felder, UFC lightweight fighter and commentator

Did you hear that I got a new sponsorship to promote dried grapes?

I'm now contractually obligated to raisin awareness.

Cody Townsend, pro skier and Salomon athlete

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A private tutor.

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?

They’re making headlines.

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

Timmy O’Neill, professional climber and Patagonia climbing ambassador




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