Families of Nottingham victims have inspired our country with their dignity and public messages of love
WHEN I heard that two students had been killed at Nottingham University, where my daughter Sophia attended, I immediately thought: “There but for the grace of God go I.”
I am sure every other parent in the country whose children either attend university now, or have been there, had a similar feeling.
I will never forget the moment when I first dropped Sophia off.
I was so proud when she got into university — something I never did.
As parents, you work your whole life trying to make a better future for your kids and hope they go on to do things you didn’t do. But I was utterly terrified.
It was the first time she was living away from home. She was so excited about her future and everything she might go on to achieve.
It was a wonderfully proud moment.
But for me, as I am sure it is for most parents, it was tinged with fear of the unknown and things that might go wrong.
My goodness, it is hard to let them go off to uni, to send them out into the world to make their own mistakes and deal with their own difficulties.
But I was more worried about freshers week and drinking than her being stabbed to death by some random person.
This week, tragically, that is what happened to Barnaby Webber and his friend Grace O’Malley-Kumar, both 19.
They were doing just what people of their age should be doing — going out and about to celebrate the end of their exams and the university term.
But out of the blue, in a totally random and unprovoked attack, they were stabbed to death.
The attacker went on to stab another victim, 65-year-old school caretaker Ian Coates, steal his van and use it to plough into three people.
This attack was just so random and mindless — utterly devastating.
Both of these young people had so much promise — Grace was a talented hockey player and was studying to be a doctor like her dad, and Barney, as his parents called him, was a gifted cricket player who was doing brilliantly at university.
They had such bright futures and everything to hope for.
Worst nightmares
David and Emma Webber and Dr Sanjoy Kumar and Dr Sinead O’Malley, must have been counting down the days until their beloved son and daughter returned home for the summer.
Instead, they are trying to come to terms with the reality that they will never be coming home, which must feel impossible.
I just can’t fathom how difficult and horrific that is to come to terms with.
Despite having all of their worst nightmares come true, these two families have inspired our country with their dignity and public messages of love.
The day after their children were murdered, the heartbroken families spoke to crowds at the university’s main campus.
Dr Kumar told the students gathered to “look after each other . . . the love that we have out here, I just wish we had it everywhere. Love everyone”.
Next to him, Barnaby’s dad David spoke about losing “my baby boy” and told his son’s friends that “his heart will be with you guys forever”.
The following day they attended a vigil in the city where thousands paid their respects.
Barnaby’s mum Emma asked the crowd to “please hold no hate that relates to any colour, sex or religion”.
Despite what is nothing short of a nightmare for these two families, they have been inspirational.
Tragic and awful as this story is, I hope that other young people at Nottingham and other universities won’t let it stop them living their lives to the full.
After all, life is short and it is fleeting.
Our best hope for the young people in our lives is that they make the most of every moment of it while they can.
PARTY MUM SO CRUEL
IT is almost too distressing to read the details of the inquest into the death of Asiah Kudi, aged 20 months, who was abandoned for an unbelievable six days while her mother went out partying.
Tragically, social workers had been worried about Asiah in previous weeks, but no action was taken.
I admire social workers, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Asiah died in her cot after her mother, Verphy Kudi, left her home alone to travel from Brighton to London, then Coventry and finally Solihull – more than 150 miles away from her neglected baby – to celebrate her 18th birthday with friends.
She returned to the flat five days, 21 hours and 58 minutes later and found Asiah dead in her cot.
The little girl had starved to death.
Her mother was jailed for nine years but it’s beyond heartbreaking to think about what the last few days of this baby’s life was like.
I couldn’t leave my kids on their own for 30 seconds when they were tiny, let alone six days.
How could any human be so heartless, selfish and reckless?
RECIPE TO WIN
IN case you did not realise, this nation is experiencing a national health catastrophe.
Food manufacturers seem intent on making kids hooked on ultra-processed food, which is so addictive and bad for you that it should come with a health warning, just as cigarettes do.
In the meantime, we need other solutions too, and fast.
New research shows almost half of kids in parts of England are overweight by the time they begin secondary school, which is terrifying when you consider the number of health problems they will have during their lifetime as a result.
Bring back cooking lessons in schools.
If you can’t cook, you won’t know how to make easy, cheap meals and instead end up at the takeaway.
BLIMEY, Tom Cruise is certainly impressive, isn’t he?
It’s not just his massive biceps – which would be a marvel on a man half his age – but also the fact that he flew himself into London by helicopter on Wednesday for a screening of the seventh instalment of Mission: Impossible.
I love his films and think Ethan Hunt is one of the best fictional characters – and Tom is a real-life hunky action hero.
No doubt he has a fleet of trainers, nutritionists, yoga teachers, coaches and wellbeing staff on call 24/7.
But he is a good example of a man ageing gracefully, isn’t he?
Apple’s lovely, Gwyn . . . and so’s your wardrobe
THE offspring of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin was never going to be lacking in looks and charisma.
But Apple Martin, 19, looked utterly fabulous as she tried on her mother’s famous 2002 gothic Alexander McQueen Oscars gown this week.
Gwyneth shared the picture on Instagram and, while Apple looks amazing, I was more struck by a few other things.
For a start, my daughter wouldn’t dream of wearing anything of mine, Oscars or not.
Not least because she’s half my size.
But more to the point, it’s Gwyneth’s walk-in wardrobe that I can’t keep my eyes off – it’s every woman’s dream.
THANKS GLENDA
RIP Glenda Jackson.
What an amazing actress and woman, and what a way to go – still doing the job she loved until the end.
A few weeks before she died this week, the double Oscar-winner and former Labour MP was working with Sir Michael Caine on what proved to be her final film.
The Women In Love star, who gave up her acting career in 1992 to serve in Parliament for more than 20 years, died at her London home after a brief illness.
She had three acts to her life – stage, then film and politics.
She reached a fine old age, at 87, and was obviously still enjoying life, which is probably as much as most of us can hope for.
What a woman.
WOMEN UNDER THREAT
HOLD on to your hats, those of you who do not identify as a man.
Yes, I know that once I might have just said woman, but apparently that word is being phased out. Quite literally.
At least over in the US, and we all know how we tend to follow their lead.
The definition of a lesbian, according to a new “LGBTQ glossary” published by Johns Hopkins University, is “a non-man attracted to non-men”.
If you are shaking your head in bafflement, let me be clear – the same glossary defines gay men as “a man” who is attracted to “other men”.
So it is only the word woman that is at risk.
What I want to know is, how has it come to pass that women are now being defined in relation to men?
And why is the word essentially becoming taboo when the word man is fine?
It’s so depressing but also alarming and feels very much like we are going backwards.
In fact, it’s ridiculous that the term woman has become an offensive and divisive word.
I for one have every intention of continuing to use it every time I want to refer to someone who is, you know . . . a woman.