Tales from the Coffeeshop: Adding value to Prez Nik II’s agenda

THE RETIRED Nik loved grand gestures. When Odysseas demanded that the interior ministry hand him over 20 files relating to ‘the citizenship by buying a grossly overpriced house scheme,’ and was refused what did Nik I do?

He ordered a full investigation into the scheme giving the investigative committee, headed by a former president of the supreme court, full access to all the files. The committee found that 53 per cent of the 6,779 citizenships given were unlawful.

Although he claimed he wanted the truth to shine, Nik the innocent made sure that large sections of the committee’s report were redacted, but he still did not emerge from it smelling of roses. How much smarter it would have been if he had given the 20 files to Odysseas, whose investigations into Nik’s actions never found the slightest hint of presidential wrongdoing.

When the public noise about corruption became a bit loud, he resorted to another grand gesture – the setting up of an authority against corruption. Such was his commitment to the fight against corruption he set up a special body to investigate all cases that were reported.

By the time Nik personally chose the corruption-busters and the authority finally got its act together, he had left office.

WITH NIK I out of the picture, the authority appears to have become the personal vehicle of Odysseas to pursue all those he publicly declared he suspected of corruption, such as deputy attorney-general Savvas Angelides. The authority would be used to prove the deity-general’s suspicions were well-founded.

So, despite, having a long list of complaints that hadn’t even been looked at, as soon as Odysseas reported the deputy AG to the authority, its president Haris Poyadjis announced that this would be treated as a matter of priority – all other cases would have to wait, because they were not as important.

Not only this, the authority outsourced the investigation to two British lawyers, who will be paid by the taxpayer. So what are we paying Poyadjis and another three authority appointees for, if they cannot carry out a straightforward investigation? Is it to hire investigators on behalf of Odysseas?

For another case, Poyadjis said he would bring lawyers from Greece to carry out the investigation. If the president of the authority and his sidekicks are incapable of carrying out an investigation themselves why had Nik appointed them? If the appointments had an element of corruption, who will hire the foreign investigators?

LISTENING to the radio news in the car at lunchtime on Friday, I was quite astonished to hear Rik’s London correspondent repeatedly referring to our foreign minister as ‘Thoktor Kombos’. He was reporting on our man’s meeting in London with British foreign secretary James Cleverly.

I speculated that the Rik correspondent may have used the ‘Dr’ title because of inexperience. Later in the day I checked the Tass News Agency reports about Kombos’ meetings in London and all referred to him as ‘Dr Kombos,’ suggesting that he had asked to be referred to as a ‘thoktor,’ even though he is no doctor.

It is an academic title because he has a PhD in Law and it seems he feels it adds some class to his personality to be referred to as ‘Thoktor Kombos’ as his surname is a bit proletarian. It was a small mercy that he was just an associate professor when he left the University of Cyprus to become foreign minister because it would have been more ridiculous for Rik and Tass to refer to him as ‘Professor Thoktor Kombos’.

HE MIGHT not be a thoktor, but government spokesman Konstantinos Letymbiotis is like a clone of his fellow Paphite and boss, who is a thoktor, but does not use the title.

Letymbiotis speaks just like his boss – maximum amount of words to express a minimum amount of thought – and has a talent for a corny soundbite, like the following; “We are already at the negotiating table and invite Turkey and the Turkish Cypriots to come so negotiations can start.”

The phrase he is repeating recently is the prez’s “positive agenda” on the Cyprob, which the Turks were ignoring. This positive agenda was illustrated last Monday by statement issued by the foreign ministry about the illegal visit to the north by Tayyip Erdogan, who, once again, came and went and escaped arrest.

In a written statement about Erdogan’s speech in the north, the foreign ministry said: “His promotion of recognition of the illegal, secessionist entity in the occupied area goes against any prospect of a Cyprus settlement. In the light of the above illegal actions the foreign ministry will undertake all the necessary actions and protests.”

All as part of the positive agenda.

APART from the positive agenda Prez Nik II has also inaugurated the Cyprob telephone diplomacy. Some 10 days ago he told an audience in Limassol that he had received a telephone call while he was in the car, “based on which there seemed to be prospects in the direction of a more active involvement of the EU in the Cyprob.”

On Wednesday, Tass news agency reported that the prez would have a telephone conversation with UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres later that day. He did not, but on Thursday morning Phil reported that “communication with Guterres was being cooked.”

And it actually happened on Thursday evening. According to Letymbiotis, the prez briefed the UNSG about the results of his contacts with regard to a more active involvement of the EU in the Cyprob. They exchanged views about the next steps in the Cyprob and agreed to stay in touch.

The next phone call may signal a Cyprob breakthrough.

A MUCH-USED and abused phrase from the time he was foreign minister made a comeback in the telephone conversation with Guterres.

Letymbiotis said that “the president of the republic underlined the added value of the appointment of a special envoy of the UN Secretary-General to the Kypriako.” When he was foreign minister everything he agreed or announced had ‘added value.’

What value would the appointment of a UN special envoy add to a dead process? The only thing it will give added value to is Prez Nik’s positive agenda.

COMMISSIONER of gender equality Josie Christodoulou seems to be in a time warp. When she speaks she sounds like a women’s liberationist from the 1970s. This could be because in Kyproulla we are still a bit behind the rest of the western world on women’s lib, but her comments still sound a bit outdated.

Speaking at a conference titled ‘The modern European of Cyprus, woman in the place she deserves,’ she came up with the following: “With the aim of improving the situation and eliminating patriarchal, and stereotypical anachronistic prejudices, that do not allow women to advance, the government has placed equality between men and women high on its priorities, introducing a different approach, working pre-emptively.”

The aim was “the consolidation of gender culture in the state machinery and the policy of ‘top-down approach’.” This ‘top-down approach’ sounds more like a new sexual technique rather than something that would turn patriarchal public parasites into feminists. Pasydy would ask for a top-down gender equality allowance to help the commissioner achieve her objective.

GENDER equality may have arrived in the civil service, but Cyta is several steps ahead in the political correctness stakes. Cyta Business is organising a conference on Wednesday titled ‘Diversity, Equality & Inclusion.’

The gender equality commissioner, who is one of the speakers, will probably realise how out of date her gender equality gig is at this wokeness conference which I suspect will focus on the inclusion of Turkish Cypriots, African asylum seekers and Syrian refugees in the Cyta work force. When will the prez appoint a racial equality commissioner?

Seeing the list of speakers, I was impressed that a PWC partner has the title of Chief Inclusion and Diversity Officer and that Cyta has a Department of Sustainable Development, the head of which is also responsible for diversity, equality and inclusion. Both are women, so Josie will be pleased that these hot-air jobs were given to women.

Starts at 8.30am. Entrance is free, and you do not need wokeness ID to attend.