I sang ‘concert’ for pal Deborah James’ 40th – she was fun, says Sophie Ellis-Bextor ahead of anniversary of her death
SINGER Sophie Ellis-Bextor is remembering her “amazing” friend Dame Deborah James almost one year on from the campaigner’s untimely death.
Sophie struck up a close bond with the late Sun columnist — who died from bowel cancer on June 28, 2022, aged 40 — after first meeting her to record podcast, Sophie’s Spinning Plates.
“I had her over to my house when I was doing a podcast chat with her.
“I’d been following her story and I emailed her and said I’d love to speak to you.
“She got back to me within minutes and we had a very instant rapport.
“When we were chatting, she mentioned her 40th birthday that October and that her favourite university song with her pals was Murder On The Dancefloor.
“I said, ‘Count me in, I’ll sing’.”
Deborah’s 40th birthday was especially heart-wrenching as the mum-of-two, who was diagnosed with stage four cancer in 2016, was told she would likely not make the milestone.
But, still full of life, Deborah threw a rip-roaring party at her London home, surrounded by her nearest and dearest.
Sophie, 44, said: “Calling it a performance is a grand term. It was all her lovely old uni mates and her family. The house looked amazing.
‘So much love’
“When I pitched up, they didn’t have any equipment at all, so I sang into one of those kid mics with a footstool, and her husband put the song on his iPod or whatever and we just went for it.
“There was so much love in the room and obviously it was very significant that she was at her 40th because when she got her diagnosis, that was the age that she did not think she’d ever see.
“It was really special. She was an amazing woman, and thinking about her makes me feel really emotional.
“I think she would have affected me even if I’d never met her, I think she’s one of those people.
“When you do get to spend time with someone like that, it’s really lovely.
“And her family were really gorgeous. I think about them often. I wish them well.”
Sophie says her huge 2001 hit is still one of her biggest crowd-pleasers, because, as with Deborah and her uni friends, it’s nostalgic for many people.
“I feel like it’s had a whole little adventure of its own, so when I do gigs that’s the one I think people have memories associated with, which is really lovely,” she said.
Busy Sophie is currently on tour, and has just released her seventh studio album, Hana.
She told the Netmums podcast she gets her work ethic from her mother, former Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis, 67, who fronted the classic kids’ TV show from 1983 for four years.
Sophie said: “It was a real part of childhood exaggerated, I suppose, in that everyone is going home to watch that programme but for me it was lived and breathed the whole time.
“My mum and I were really close throughout because that was when she was a single parent, and I think it probably put in there a bit of my work ethic too.
“This was before the days of having the teleprompter.
“She had the script delivered the night before and memorise it then do it live on telly the next day. Pretty bloody impressive, I think.”
Sophie shares sons, Sonny, 19, Kit, 14, Ray, 11, Jesse, seven, and four-year-old Mickey with Richard Jones, the bass player of British rock band The Feeling.
While Sophie has been asked on numerous occasions whether she would like to add a girl to their brood – a question she finds “baffling” – she is more than content.
“I remember sitting down next to a guy at dinner. He was quite horrified at me being quite chilled,” she said.
“I think I was pregnant, maybe with my fourth or my fifth.
“I never found out what I was having, but I said it’s probably going to be another boy, but I just wanted to have people . . . I don’t mind what gender they are.
And he was like, ‘That’s a really good attitude for someone in your situation, but for your sake I hope it’s a girl.’
‘A really astute line’
“I nearly said to him, ‘I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you tell me what kids you hope I have, and I’ll give you that answer and then you can go home happy thinking I have whatever you think I should have, and I’ll go home with what I really have and I’ll be happy too.’
“I only know what it’s like to have my boys.
“There’s a line in the film Lost In Translation, where Bill Murray is talking to Scarlett Johansson about his kids, and he says, ‘You have your children and then they turn out to be the most interesting, nicest people you’ve ever met.’
And I think that’s a really astute line.
“Obviously, my kids can absolutely infuriate me.
“But you know when you discover new things about how they see the world, or they make a joke or something?
“I think it’s really underrated, just seeing someone that you’ve known since the year dot coming into their own and developing.
“The bigger they get, the better, I think.
‘It was crazy intense’
“I really love the relationship I have with my eldest.
“I think that’s the thing I like about having lots of kids. I think that’s what I got quite addicted to.
“Because I had my first, and I was like, ‘Oh wow, he’s a whole guy – let’s find out about him.’
“And then another one came, and he was totally different. And I was like, ‘OK, cool – let’s find out about you.’ ”
Sophie and Richard, 44, discovered they were expecting their first child, Sonny, after just six weeks of dating.
“It probably galvanised our relationship,” she explained.
“For Richard and I, it felt from quite early on that we were ‘three’ and we were a family.
“Sonny was born a couple of months early, so when he was born we’d been dating for eight months.
“It was pretty much as fast as you can be three.
“Looking back, it was crazy intense. Particularly going through having a premature baby as well.
“Richard was brilliant. He really took it in his stride, even though Sonny might have been the first baby he’d ever really held.
“So, for all that was going on, in the heart of it I think we were both quite excited and looking forward to it.
“I probably felt all the emotions that every new mum does.
“A lot of it was glorious, but I also found it quite isolating at times, and I didn’t necessarily know how it was going to work with my career.
“I was in the middle of promoting my second album when I found out I was having a baby and I basically just stopped quite abruptly after two singles.
“So I had to slightly find myself again.”