Donald Trump is absolutely definitely not thinking about fleeing to Moscow to live with ‘Vladimir’

On Monday, former President Donald Trump posted the following message to Truth Social:

The failed District Attorney of Fulton County (Atlanta), Fani Willis, insisted on a $200,000 Bond from me. I assume, therefore, that she thought I was a "flight" risk — I'd fly far away, maybe to Russia, Russia, Russia, share a gold domed suite with Vladimir, never to be seen or heard from again. Would I be able to take my very "understated" airplane with the gold TRUMP affixed for all to see. Probably not, I'd be much better off flying commercial — I'm sure nobody would recognize me!

Official statement of Donald Trump for president, 2024:

The Fulton County district attorney is again abusing the powers of her office in order to make false accusations against the greatest president in history. It is outrageous to consider Donald Trump a flight risk; he cannot even jump very high. And while it may have been standard procedure for the bond in this case to be set according to predetermined per-felony standards, asking President Trump to pay $200,000 to remain out of jail is, given the president's well-known preference to not part with his money, a transparent ploy to force the president into a jail cell.

As members of the Donald Trump campaign, we would like to emphasize that to our knowledge, President Trump does not daydream about living in a gold-domed suite with Russian President Vladimir Putin. He has never dreamed of President Putin, whom the president calls Vladimir, galloping towards him shirtless on a white horse, through fields of white and golden flowers, ready to carry Donald off to a new life in a Moscow suite. The president does not let his mind wander during campaign events, wondering where he and Vladimir would spend their time on cold Moscow nights, or what it might be like to pick out draperies and furniture for an elaborate gold-domed apartment built to Vladimir and Donald's precise specifications.