The Starfield no-planets run: Golden Age of Piracy

When I finished Part 1 of my perverse effort to play Starfield entirely as a space sim, I was both terrified and tantalised. A quick reminder of the rules: I can only acquire new ships by commandeering them, which also means that I can't just shuffle between ships at whim after adding them to my hangar. Any ship I abandon is essentially gone for good.

My first trophy as greenhorn orbital bandit Mary Read was a UC Transpo, which is essentially a shoebox with toilet roll tubes and detergent bottles glued to the outside, its ordnance limited to a single laser. I began my second leg confidently expecting to spend many hours in this Fisher Price starmobile, vainly searching for a wounded battlecruiser or an abandoned space yacht or some other, more capable vessel accessible to a space pirate of extremely modest means. This is going to be Jalopy: Galactic Edition, I said to myself. Imagine my shock (and slight disappointment) when I jumped to the very next planet and proceeded to comprehensively ding over a Crimson Fleet Spectre.

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