I saved hard to buy my flat without a man – the thought of a mummy’s boy in my lounge playing CoD gives me the ick

HOME owner Ayvianna Snow proudly shows off her two-bed maisonette – and says she got it by putting relationships firmly on the back burner.

The single 25-year-old actress says: “A house, not a spouse — that’s what women like me want.

If I’d been a Girl Guide, ‘financial independence’ is the badge I’d have wanted my mum to sew on my sash, not ‘tied down with husband and kids’.”

And Ayvianna is not alone.

According to a Girlguiding survey, “owning my own house” is what women really want before turning 30.

It’s in contrast to a 2009 poll, when marriage and kids was the ­priority for 60 per cent.

And with 42 per cent of marriages ending in divorce, is it any wonder that women are turning their backs on relationships in favour of financial independence?

Ayvianna, who bought her home in Ealing, West London, in 2018, adds: “The average adult child now lives with a parent until they are 24, and you can bet your marble kitchen worktop that number is higher for lazy sons.

“The idea of a mummy’s boy, the type who think they can roll straight out of the family abode into my prized flat, is deeply unattractive.

“There’s no need for me to have a man in my life, or my lounge, playing Call Of Duty in his underpants.

“And with men being less handy than they used to be — a 2022 survey found they do less DIY than women — I’d much rather call in a pro. At least they leave when the job is done.

“Even at 13, while my friends ­daydreamed of marriage and kids, I had my sights set on being financially ­independent.

“My parents filled both me and my younger sister with the knowledge that home ownership led to security. Romance was never going to become a lifetime investment.

“While I loved to watch romcom films when the hot, male lead put red roses on a girl’s school locker, it was all one thing only — fantasy. And fantasy doesn’t pay the bills.

“While pals were filling their diaries with juicy notes about their crush, I had my sights set on a ­successful career in acting.

“At 16 I skipped prom, and the promise of the romance that Lynx Africa-scented night could bring, to get a good night’s sleep before an early audition.

“My sights were always set on one ideal, and that was one day being in a position to buy my own home, which in turn meant a stable future.”

But with houses in the UK costing up to nine times an average annual salary, Ayvianna knew she’d have to make huge sacrifices to raise a deposit.

She says: “At 18 I moved to London and into a crowded shared house that I rented from a friend at a discounted rate.

“My bills were included in the rent and I bought clothes from charity shops.

“I didn’t have holidays and if I went out I’d make one soft drink last the full night.

“While I dated a couple of men here and there, my sights were firmly fixed on the property ladder.

“Working every waking moment touring theatres in A Midsummer Night’s Dream meant I saved hard, and I topped up my income with corporate acting gigs, earning around £350 a day on top of my £2,000-a-month salary.

“Most months, I managed to put aside £1,500 of my earnings.”

By 2018, Ayvianna had £70,000 in the bank which meant she could afford the deposit to buy her home which cost £700,000.

That same year she picked up the keys.

She says: “Give me Kevin McCloud over Regé-Jean Page any day. I want fixtures and fittings, not one of the millions of men who are lolling loosely around the country.

“Rather than stopping to coo over babies in the supermarket, (fewer women have kids these days anyway) I drool over the property magazines instead, because investing in my home is the sort of security I want.

“I’m not dating either. Women invest emotional energy into men and don’t get a return.

“I’m glad I shelled out £700 on that pink velvet sofa I’d pined over, instead of pouring cash into dead-end Tinder dates.

“I’ve paid to have decking in my garden because with outdoor space so rare in the city, it’s bound to add value.

“Besides, while my pension could someday be unliveable on, my house is likely to be my livelihood.

“Could the bloke who I turned down at 19 have ended up being my husband? Who knows?

“But with divorce rates rocketing I’d have probably ended up single anyway — and where would that have left me now?

“When I’m nearing retirement age I hope I’ll look back and congratulate the woman I was in my twenties — the one who chose to put her cash into her four walls rather than squandering it on wine with a man she met in the pub.

“If I was ever to marry, there would be an iron-clad prenup. It’s all my blood, sweat and tears that bought me my home.

“Choosing to invest in bricks and mortar, instead of wasting my time on a man, could be the most sensible decision I ever made.”

Additional reporting: Michelle Morgan Davies