Marin Voice: Finding common ground on the International Day of Peace

On Thursday, we celebrate the International Day of Peace, a day established by the United Nations in 1981 to “commemorate and strengthen the ideals of peace, both within and among all nations and peoples.”

This time is an opportunity to reflect personally and collectively on how we live peace in our families, with our neighbors and within our nation and still we have much further to go to manifest that vision.

It is an opportunity to examine some of the key components that shape peace and well-being. At its core, peace is built from respectful communication, deep listening, open mindedness to different ideas, a sense of curiosity and a willingness to learn. To move the peace agenda forward we need to practice these concepts within families, among friends, in our school yards and workplaces, and in Congress.

Since its beginning, America has been a land of immigrants seeking a better life. Yet pluralism, a part of our country’s DNA and a pillar of our American democracy, is being challenged by hyper-political polarization. Tribalism may be the Achilles’ heel of this divide. It is one of the most divisive cultural phenomena of our time.

From this comes the politics of anger that can easily lead to populism and the search for a strong leader who will somehow make the problems go away. The more we remain in our silos, the more entrenched our views become and polarized we are with the “other.” Avoiding the urgent topics of the day, we create a cycle that fosters lack of understanding and discontent.

So how can we go beyond our tribal instincts to appeal to our common humanity? Finding common ground in the short-term is possible when we look. We saw this after the 9/11 terror attacks, in the way we shared our common grief by disregarding our usual differences. Yet this does not mean we are all the same. We’re not. It is precisely because we’re not the same that we can learn and benefit from other’s wisdom and experiences to enrich ourselves and our group.

The opportunity is to practice and expand empathy.

There are a growing number of living-room dialogues that bring people of different backgrounds and ideologies together for respectful conversation. Setting guidelines such as confidentiality, deep listening and open mindedness are all good first steps. Framing your conversations, “As a friend” or “as your co-worker” can be a useful tool.  Why not invite people from a different country, ethnic group or political party over for dinner? Many churches are now hosting intergroup dialogues. It’s amazing how much we learn when we approach conversations with curiosity rather than judgment. These skills are embedded through practice.

The truth is, as cross-cultural life experiences have shown us, our similarities are greater than our differences. What binds us is greater than what divides us. Let’s start with what we have in common.

The real work happens in our community. Join together for a greater voice for peace and hone our skills to cover the vast arena of peacebuilding modalities in a way that is engaging, enrolling and transformative is a good start. The following Marin organizations are pursuing peace in these different forms:

• The U.N. Association of Marin is dedicated to educating and mobilizing people to support the principles and wide ranging, vital work of the United Nations. unamarin.org.

• Pathways To Peace is an international, intergenerational and multicultural peacebuilding, educational and consulting organization. Pathwaystopeace.org

• The Peace Alliance educates, advocates and mobilizes people into action to transform systems and public policy toward a culture of peace through advocacy and education. Peacealliance.org

On this theme, the public is invited to “An Evening With Peace Leaders” on Tuesday at the Community Congregational Church in Tiburon. Learn more at unamarin.org

The larger voice for peace and nonviolence is calling for increased dialogue and engagement with all our peers. We know that by working together in alignment, we can have a growing and positive impact.

Let’s do it.

Judy Kimmel, of Mill Valley, is president emeritus of the Peace Alliance, business consultant, author and personal coach. Kimberly Weichel, of Tiburon, is president emeritus of the Marin U.N. Association and author, educator, NGO advisor and women’s leadership professional.