Younger woman halfway across the world wants me – I fear being taken for a fool
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE met an incredible woman who is from the Philippines.
She is ten years younger than me but we have been friends for four years and we video-call each other every single day.
I have never visited her and she is really keen to meet me.
But I’m worried I’m behaving like a deluded old fool.
I’ve read so many stories, about lonely, fat old men being taken for a ride by foreign women interested only in their money, that I am now questioning myself – and her.
At 62, I would really like to fly out and visit her and, as she says, neither one of us is getting any younger.
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The truth is, I am only recently single. I split with my partner of eight years after we grew fed up with the non-stop bickering.
I didn’t tell either woman about the other.
So in a sense, I am the one who is being manipulative – not my friend.
In her favour, she hasn’t once asked for money. I contacted her on an online chat forum, she wants me to visit her and she seems genuinely kind and interested in me.
Oh, and it doesn’t hurt that she is also really pretty.
But against her is the fact she is much younger than me – she’s 53.
So why isn’t she looking for someone her own age?
Also, I’ve read about so many scams that are uncomfortably similar to this scenario.
So please help. Should I pursue this woman? Or am I just like all the other old fools?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You are quite right to be wary, but don’t allow your caution to destroy your chances of happiness.
Anyone can present an edited version of themselves online, so it is always best to get to know someone face to face – where it is much harder to cover up untruths.
So visiting your friend in her home country would be a really positive step.
You can always keep it low-key the first time.
Book accommodation for yourself somewhere near to where she lives, so you can go on dates.
But also arrange to do things on your own so that you ease yourself into spending time together.
I hope you have a lovely time and enjoy spending time with your friend – but don’t hurry into any serious commitment.
Certainly don’t agree to lend any money or agree to give away large amounts of cash.