7 Telltale Clues of an Avoidantly Attached Partner

But what if your partner is the one who displays conflict avoiding behavior. Conflict avoidance is damaging for a relationship no matter which partner exhibits this behavior. To have a healthy relationship you must ensure that both you and your partner should not exhibit conflict avoidance patterns.

I want to tell you from first hand experience that you can change this pattern. All you need is persistent and dedicated effort to change this dysfunctional pattern. If humour is used in this way, it’s harmful and doesn’t allow the conversation to resolve anything. Every time you bring up something that upsets you, your spouse either says that there isn’t a problem or that there’s nothing to talk about. Also, because neither party is vested in the relationship, no one will do the work required to fix any issues that may arise.

How to Address Conflict Avoidance With Your Partner

“Complaints focus on specific behaviors, whereas criticism cuts to the core of who your partner is as an individual,” she explains. Physical affection and sex may be different with an avoidant partner. “Avoidant partners also have a tendency to be sensitive around feeling controlled by others because they are used to so much independence,” says Jordan. Your avoidant partner might have some different values and thought processes than you. Understanding their perspective can help you meet in the middle.

You don’t get anywhere in a relationship if you’re not on the same page. In this case, you want to agree that you don’t want to keep this behavior in the marriage because it’s destructive. We’re creating the skills and emotional resilience to face any challenges. No matter if the hurdle is within ourselves, our relationships or our life in general, we’ll know how to address it with courage and solve any issues that we come across. Even if your partner doesn’t see the problem, it’s still worthy of discussion if something bothers you. Respect yourself and your gut feeling because your hunch could save your relationship in the long-run.

Create an atmosphere of safety

Gottman’s couples therapy principles are helpful in learning how to overcome conflict avoidance and use healthy conflict management strategies. However, some people avoid conflict at all costs — even when the conflict is necessary. To avoid rocking how to deal with someone who avoids conflict the boat, conflict-avoidant people might bottle up their feelings and sidestep discussing important issues with others. Those conditions will be discussed later, but first, it’s important to cite the symptoms of this challenging personality style.

This people-pleasing behavior can also make it difficult to set and maintain boundaries. Avoidant partners behave in ways that make them feel safe, often stemming from childhood. While these behaviors are hard-wired, change and compromise are possible with time, patience, and support. People may show avoidance behaviors in a relationship for many reasons. They often date back to a person’s early relationship dynamics and attachment style.

The post 7 Telltale Clues of an Avoidantly Attached Partner appeared first on Shihan Howard Collins.