My wife has told me she has given up on making love

DEAR DEIDRE: A decade after we got married, my wife has said she no longer wants to have sex.

Things have been going downhill in the bedroom department ever since we had our son three years ago, and now she’s decided to give up on intimacy.

I’m 42 and not ready to quit making love. She’s 44.

Sex is important to me and I thought it was to her too. But she says she has no libido and just isn’t bothered.

She acts as if sex is what young people do for fun. For me, it’s not just about pleasure, but being intimate and loving.

I love her but it feels like she’s made a decision without taking my feelings into account. I feel rejected.

How can I make her change her mind? I don’t want to leave her or be unfaithful.

DEIDRE SAYS: Sex drives do change over time and libido can be affected by many things, from stress to medication, hormones to boredom.

You say your sex life went downhill after your son was born. It may be that your wife is exhausted or feels less attractive.

Talk to her and explain how much this is affecting you. Ask her if there is something bothering her that could be causing her loss of libido, and if she’d consider getting help.

My support packs Saving Your Sex Life and Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive should help.

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