Drink, drugs and doing the dirty, my boyfriend ruined our dream holiday
DEAR DEIDRE: Our dream holiday was ruined by my party-loving boyfriend.
He left me fuming in our luxury suite to get high and have sex with another woman.
I knew he had an addictive personality and thought he was doing drugs and drinking heavily, which was bad enough.
But then I discovered he had also been unfaithful.
Devastated, I cut my holiday short and returned home. He stayed on, but now he is begging forgiveness and wants to see me. But I’m not ready.
We are both 28 and have been together for two years. This was the second chance I had given him.
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The first time he let me down was also on holiday.
We had a week in Tenerife but I hardly saw him because he was drinking and doing drugs so much.
I wanted to see the island but he didn’t surface until early afternoon.
We had booked some excursions, but I went alone as he was in no fit state to join me.
He apologised, saying he got caught up in the holiday atmosphere and was unwinding after a stressful time at work.
I forgave him and, in time, we started saving for a holiday to Vietnam, somewhere I have always wanted to go.
I was so excited. We got on with another couple at the same hotel and one night the four of us went out together.
When my boyfriend got really wild, I decided I’d had enough and went back alone.
He didn’t come back that night and at breakfast I discovered from this couple that he’d been all over another woman.
I was disgusted. Now he says it was all my fault.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: By blaming you, your boyfriend is deflecting attention away from himself. He’s not facing up to his behaviour.
Everyone makes mistakes but you already gave him a chance, and his actions suggest he isn’t ready to face up to his poor choices.
I would be worried about forgiving him again, when he has done little to convince you that he recognises this unhealthy pattern, or is willing to overcome it.
He won’t change without professional help and you are better off without him. Your heart is broken, but it will mend.
Allow yourself time to heal. My support pack Mend Your Broken Heart will help you find someone worthy of your trust.