Cheers and Jeers: Monday

A Brief Calming Note to the MAGA Cult

We know you're all feeling scared, lost and traumatized by the appearance of Taylor Swift at a recent football game. God only knows what horrible, terrible, apocalyptic message she was sending as the signal beamed ominously into your—yes, your—living room.

But look on the bright side. It could’ve been drag queens. Or books on Black history. Or green M&Ms. Or electric stoves. Or Mr. Potato Heads. Or bamboo fibers. Or crates full of pronouns. Or abortion pills. Or immigrants. Or Disney characters. Or pamphlets on gun safety. Or vaccines. Or low-flow toilets. Or news about another military defeat for Russia. Or Dark Brandon’s Ray-Bans. Or Barbie. Or a robot shifty Adam Schiff. Or cancer-causing windmills. Or—trigger warning—a slate of not-fake electors!

But you can relax. I have it on good authority that the “Taylor Swift” you saw was just reincarnated JFK Jr. in Mike Lindell's host body dressed up like the pop singer, who was actually squirreled away at an undisclosed location by the Border convoy.

All is well. Enjoy your day, brave patriots. And, hey...keep it real.