I binned my ‘mum clothes’ to dress sexy at 50, now I only wear heels & belly-baring tops to bag young blokes on Tinder
ONCE upon a time, 50 was thought over the hill. No more, says relationship coach Claire Dore.
The single mum-of-three, from Marlborough, Wilts, tells Anna Roberts why – like many women in their fifties – she is finally embracing her sexy side . . .
“‘Mutton dressed as lamb’ was an expression I often heard growing up.
It was aimed at women like Cher, Dolly Parton and Donatella Versace — all glamorous older women who were not afraid to take risks when it came to fashion.
Just who did they think they were, wearing thigh-high slits, underwear as outerwear or, shock horror, low-cut dresses showing off their cleavage?
These women were the exception, not the rule, when it came to ladies in their fifties.
They were the audacious odd ones out, who weren’t afraid to be judged by men, or women, for presenting their sexiest selves to the world.
But fast forward to today, with more middle-aged women finding renewed adolescence within their wardrobes, the 50s are most definitely the new 20s.
Just look at Jennifer Lopez, 54, Heidi Klum, 50, and even Lauren Sanchez, 54, the partner of Amazon boss Jeff Bezos who stepped out in a very daring sheer ensemble during Milan Fashion Week last month, inspiring my look today.
British ladies are at it too, with Amanda Holden, 52, Davina McCall, 56, and Liz Hurley, 58, all flying the flag for the fabulous over-50 crowd.
Good on them. Why shouldn’t women consider a sexy style overhaul in their flirty 50s?
Personally, as a 50-year-old, I feel better, sexier and smarter than ever before.
I’ve gone from practical to raunchy.
A mum of three, I’m past those all-engulfing early childhood years where my identity was shaped through my kids.
For many years, all I heard was, “Mummy, Mum-my, Mummy”.
My life was a monotonous and exhausting blur of nappies, car journeys, after-school clubs and “What do you want for dinner?”.
I was mentally, spiritually and sexually crushed — I wasn’t a woman, but a mum and a wife.
Always in a busy haze of breakfast, school, dinner, bath and bed, I lived in baggy jumpers and jeans or leggings.
In winter I wore huge coats and scarfs and in summer I slipped on cotton vest tops and practical shorts.
My clothes were sensible, cheap and cheerful — they needed to be because they were always getting grubby hands on them.
But I had a sexy awakening when I hit 48.
I chucked all my old clothes and now focus on buying statement pieces.
I consider them an investment.
I always go out in sky-high heels and my days of only wearing flip flops or trainers are long gone.
My favourite shop is posh Willow & Wolf and I think nothing of splashing out on a totally impractical slinky dress adorned with feather trimming — something my 30-year-old self never would have done.
In the gym I’ll wear belly-baring tops and tight leggings.
I know I look great and I have such high self-esteem, much more than 15 years ago.
I know I’m not on my own here — I have many Facebook friends in their 50s who are doing this, too.
And it’s little surprise, with people living longer than ever before.
In 1975, the average life expectancy of a woman in the UK was 75. Now it is 82.
So we’ve got more of a life to live — and I am ready to live my best life.
In the gym I’ll wear belly-baring tops and tight leggings. I know I look great and I have such high self-esteem, much more than 15 years ago
Claire Dore
During my “mum haze” in my late 20s to late 30s, clothes were the last thing on my mind.
Exhausted by the daily hamster wheel of life, I would wake up, shower (if I had time) and pull on what I had thrown on the floor.
My underwear consisted of practical M&S knickers, and intimacy was slightly lost.
I would, occasionally, think nostalgically back to my late teens and early 20s in the early Nineties.
Leaving my parents’ home in Somerset, I headed to university in Southampton and loved it.
A size 10, I would dress in skimpy crop tops and mini skirts.
For the first time, I felt young, free and empowered.
In June 2002, I married a kind and intelligent man, before having my three children and taking six years off work.
It was only when my youngest grew up that I realised the path I was on didn’t feel right.
While I loved my children and respected their father, I had lost myself — the young me who would wear skimpy clothes, dance for hours and laugh like a hyena.
It snuck up on me rather quickly and as I neared 50, I knew I had to make huge, life-altering changes.
Rather than feeling frightened, I felt invigorated.
Friends supported me, seeing how happy I was.
Telling my husband I wanted a divorce was very difficult.
After 19 years of marriage, he was, understandably, stunned.
But I explained it was not about him.
I had experienced what could only be described as an “awakening” and I needed to be true to myself.
I never wanted my kids to have divorced parents but I knew there was no choice, and they handled it admirably.
The 20-year-old is at university and we share custody of the younger two, now 18 and 16, 50/50.
And knowing I’m wearing sexy undies beneath my clothes gives me a little post-50 va-va-voom
Claire Dore
By the time I had reached my sixth decade, my life was totally different.
I also became a sex and relationship coach.
It was time for me to take the leap into the world of dating, too.
Tinder and Hinge did not exist when I dated first time around, but this time they were all the rage and I embraced them wholly.
I put up sexy pictures in strapless dresses I would not have dared to wear before and had a bio that read: “I know exactly what I want.”
In the past two years I’ve met a host of men — some who have love-bombed me, some who have not been over their ex and some who have simply ghosted me.
It’s a disarming experience realising, age 50, that some men are still in the same mindset as when they were 18 — as immature as when you were 18.
But I’ve had great compliments too, with one (much younger) man writing just last night: “Oh my God, you’re f***ing insane. I thought you were a fake profile.”
If only he knew I had a plethora of vibrators . . . I bought my first at 47.
He might have liked my lingerie, too.
I now only wear Honey Birdette as I like to look a million bucks constantly.
And knowing I’m wearing sexy undies beneath my clothes gives me a little post-50 va-va-voom.
I’m way more confident than I was between my late twenties and my mid forties.
Now I love to look good, so I splash out on designer brands, although I am always conscious of each piece I buy.
I’ve binned my “mum fashion”.
But even in my jogging bottoms, lounging around at home, I feel fabulous.
It’s all about the mindset.
I wouldn’t rule out a long-term relationship or marriage, but for now I’m focused on regaining what I lost: Me
Claire Dore
With my 51st birthday approaching, I’ve thrown off the shackles of family life and am embracing my sexuality fully for the first time.
I feel excited about the future, excited about being a woman and excited for my children.
My daughters don’t have to become mums — they can be anything.
“Mum,” my son said the other day. “You look like you’re ageing backwards.”
And I think he’s right.
I’ve not had any cosmetic work and am unlikely to.
It comes from happiness and confidence.
I wouldn’t rule out a long-term relationship or marriage, but for now I’m focused on regaining what I lost: Me.
And I have to say — this me is pretty fantastic.”
