Rylan Clark opens up about breakdown that saw him attempt suicide saying ‘I pressed the nuclear button on my life’
RYLAN Clark has opened up in detail about “pressing the nuclear button” on his life and ending his marriage.
The 35-year-old confessed to cheating on his husband Dan Neal in December 2021 after keeping it secret for years.
The pair split and soon after Rylan’s mental health plummeted.
He attempted suicide and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
He told the Guardian: “I got so ill to the point where I knew I couldn’t get any iller.
“I couldn’t speak. I had to learn to speak again, I had to learn to move again. It was like I’d had a stroke. I couldn’t understand anything.
“Nothing made sense to me. I couldn’t have the TV on and I couldn’t listen to music. All I could do was sit in silence. TV and music’s my job! I was f***ed.”
He added: “I couldn’t understand why I pressed the nuclear button on my seemingly perfect life.
“And it’s only now I’m better that I realise it was the ejector seat I needed. Now I just wish I’d pressed that escape button earlier.”
Rylan looks back on his breakdown as the “best thing” that could ever have happened to him.
However, he regrets the “horrendous” hurt he caused his friends and family.
In his memoir Ten: The Decade That Changed My Future, Rylan wrote: “For the first time in my 32 years, I felt I couldn’t carry on no more.
“‘What’s the point?’ I thought. I’d lost what I thought was everything, the one thing I always wanted. A man I loved. A family of my own. And now it was gone.
“So I tried to end it. I won’t go into detail as I don’t think it’s fair on my mum, but thank God I was unsuccessful.”
Rylan's relationship timeline
- The former couple met in 2013 when Rylan hosted Big Brother’s Bit On The Side and Dan was a contestant in the house.
- Just a year later they got engaged in Paris with Dan dropping to one knee. Rylan told fans at the time: “Myself and @DanNealOfficial are very happy xxx”
- A celebrity packed wedding took place the following November, but the big day was kept under wraps. The happy couple were suited and booted for the nuptials and were joined by the likes of Towie’s Amy Childs, presenters Eamonn Holmes, Ruth Langsford, Matt Willis and Emma Willis.
- Rylan was stepdad to Dan’s son Cameron and treated him as if he was his own flesh and blood. He previously told Star Magazine: “I look at him [Cameron] like he’s my own. He can talk to me – I’m Dad, but he can talk to me about sex! I’ll say, ‘As long as you’re being safe!”
- Rylan and Dan presented This Morning in 2017, becoming the first gay couple to do so.
- In 2021 tragedy struck and the pair went their separate ways sending Rylan into a downward spiral. Rylan took responsibility for the split, saying: “I have made a number of mistakes which I deeply regret and have inevitably led to the breakdown of our marriage.”
You're Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
- Heads Together,www.headstogether.org.uk
- HUMEN www.wearehumen.org
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans,www.samaritans.org, 116 123