A mother who refuses to throw her daughter a birthday party every year sparks parenting debate: 'I am not going to force that on my friends and family.'
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- A Pennsylvania mom's TikTok video about hosting birthday parties has sparked an online debate.
- She won't throw her daughter a birthday party each year and instead opts for family celebrations.
- The mom told BI she's unfazed by online criticism.
A Pennsylvania mother swatted down criticism after saying she wouldn't host birthday parties for her daughter each year.
The debate was sparked this month after Marissa Light shared a nearly four-minute TikTok video that's garnered 412,00 views and 10,000 likes in just two weeks. Light told Business Insider in an email that she's seen the negative comments, but she's completely unfazed.
"Going viral has definitely been interesting. But it actually is not my first time dealing with negative comments and a viral video," Light said. "I never put anything out on the internet that I don't stand behind, so it hasn't bothered me too much."
Light began the video by saying, "Under no circumstances will I be throwing my daughter a birthday party every single year."
She continued: "Here's the deal: She is getting a first birthday party, she is getting a Sweet Sixteen and she is getting a graduation party. Other than that, she is not getting any more birthday parties."
Light, who tagged the video "#hotmomtake," said she didn't want to "force" family and friends to attend a party they wouldn't enjoy.
"Now, I have been to many children's birthday parties whether they were 3 ... 7 ... 12 ... and I'm sorry but as someone who did not have a kid at the time, they were not enjoyable," Light said. "And I don't even think the kid noticed that I was there. I am not going to force that on my friends and family."
Light added that parents who enjoy throwing parties should continue, but she didn't find the annual event necessary. Instead, Light plans to have smaller get-togethers with family for her daughter's birthdays.
"We will have dinner and cake with them every single year to celebrate my daughter's birthday, and every year on her birthday, we are going to do a 'Daisy Day' or an 'All About You Day," she said.
Light said a "Daisy Day" could include a special breakfast, fun activities, toy shopping, and other birthday-themed pastimes.
In the same video, Light told viewers she knows her daughter might want a birthday party one day, which is fine. When that happens, Light's daughter can choose between a "Daisy Day" or a traditional birthday party.
"I'm just saying as someone who has been to a lot of them and kind of felt obligated to be at them, I'm just not going to be doing it," she said, adding that organizing the event is stressful and attendees likely won't find the party all that enjoyable.
"I just don't want a bunch of people sitting around at my house all day," she said in the video.
Light's video amassed more than 4,500 comments, many of which were divided. Some commenters applauded Light's idea.
"That is the perfect setup. When she's too little to care about a party, she gets a day. When she wants one, you're on board. Perfection," one person wrote.
But others criticized it. They said her daughter would regret not having birthday parties.
"Everyone deserves a bday party every year. Even a small one with a few of their besties," a user wrote.
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Another added: "I never had bday parties growing up, and I was always jealous of the kids in my class who got them. Currently pregnant, and she'll have her parties if she wants them."
In her statement to BI, Light also addressed TikTok users who suggested she didn't want to put in the effort to celebrate her daughter's birthday.
"In fact, I would argue my 'all about you' day requires the same amount of effort, if not more, than a big party every year," Light said. "It's about your child being happy and creating special memories with them and giving them options, especially once they reach an age where they can choose how they want to spend their special day."
She added: "While the job of being a mom never ends, we only have so many birthdays with them and I want to be as fully present as possible for every single one of them."