Embracing all of life’s surprises

Years ago, when Myers–Briggs was all the rage, I took the test. I was surprised to learn that, according to Myers–Briggs, I didn’t like surprises. I’ve jumped out of helicopters, ridden on elephants, gone white water rafting and stroked a python. And I didn’t like surprises?

With age, life holds fewer surprises, but I recently had a few.

About once a week, I eat lunch at Left Bank on Magnolia Street in Larkspur. Lunch is usually combined with seeing a movie or some sort of shopping. Magnolia Street is full of interesting small boutiques.

The Left Bank is a French brasserie. It’s a large open room with a bar, above which are large clocks showing the time of day — or night — in major cities around the world, including San Francisco and Paris. It has an Old World charm — tall ceilings that look as though they might be painted tin, lots of wood trim and banquettes along the walls. The waiters wear black slacks and white shirts.

It’s the sort of place with regulars — both at the bar and in the dining room. It’s a relaxed, comfortable place. I usually sit at the same small table in the middle of the room. From my table, I always see the same couple seated at a banquette along the far wall: a middle-aged woman with a much older man. The woman has long graying hair worn in a ponytail and always wears a pale blue dress. The man is quite small and frail looking, with thin mouse-colored hair.

I fantasized about them wondering if they were an elderly father with his daughter, or a woman with a much older husband, or maybe a caretaker with her patient. Can you imagine my surprise when I learned (from a waiter) that the companion wasn’t a man but was in fact a woman — a daughter with her elderly mother!

Calamari and a glass of chardonnay is my usual lunch. Occasionally I enjoy a cappuccino.  Familiar waiters come by to say hello. I always have my Kindle with me. Once, the Washington Post ran an article suggesting that women dining alone should always have a book with them so they wouldn’t be so noticeable. Do people really wonder about a woman dining alone? These days, I don’t think so.

One day, just before Christmas, I enjoyed my usual lunch, read a few chapters on Kindle, then asked the waiter for my check. He returned a few minutes later to tell me my bill had already been paid. I was, of course, surprised. When I inquired, my waiter said he had no idea who had paid. I looked around the room trying to identify my donor. But what would my donor look like? A man or a woman? Young or old? Someone with company or also alone? And then, I wondered, did they pay it because they thought I looked lonely? I hoped not.

After lunch, I decided to do a bit of Christmas shopping. As I was entering a small boutique, another woman, arms full of packages, was exiting. She gave me a big smile and said, “This is for you.” I felt her put something on my head. I looked at my reflection in the store mirror and saw that I was now wearing a red-and-white-striped headband decorated with holly and a candy cane standing straight up. As I strolled on down the street, I received friendly smiles.

As the adage goes, life is full of surprises.

Jill Holmes is a San Rafael resident. IJ readers are invited to share their stories of love, dating, parenting, marriage, friendship and other experiences for our How It Is column, which runs Tuesdays in the Lifestyles section. All stories must not have been published in part or in its entirety previously. Send your stories of no more than 600 words to lifestyles@marinij.com. Please write How It Is in the subject line. The IJ reserves the right to edit them for publication. Please include your full name, address and a daytime phone number.