My mother-in-law came up with a ‘test’ to see if I was ‘good enough’ for her son – it’s totally ‘ridiculous’
A woman has told of her anger after her mother-in-law devised a ‘test’ to see whether she’s worthy enough of her son.
The 27-year-old, who has been dating her partner for three years, explains how they had been house hunting, browsing engagement rings and even discussed the idea of starting a family.
However, she says a recent situation with his family has cast doubt on whether she really wants to take their relationship to the next level…after his mum devised a “test” to see what kind of wife she’d be.
In a post to Reddit, she explains: “While we were having dinner, we mentioned [moving in together] to his family as it’s a big step in our relationship for us (we are not engaged yet).
“His parents and brothers expressed their happiness for us then out of nowhere his youngest sister-in-law asked: ‘So is she going to take the test?'”
The woman admits she was confused by the comment and was left dumbfounded by the revelation that was to come.
“My boyfriend’s family has this tradition where the future mother-in-law tests future daughters-in-law to see if they are good enough for her sons,” she continues.
She goes on to say that the test includes everything from how well she can clean a home, cook and her overall manners.
“I found it ridiculous because if I’m good enough for my boyfriend, he should be the one deciding it and I don’t fit in their targeted category,” she explains.
“In his mum’s words, you can’t be a good stay-at-home-wife and stay-at-home-mum if you can’t be a good homemaker and she wants to make sure of that.”
The frustrated woman adds how his mum is expecting her to hand her notice in at work so she can take care of the housework while her son enjoys a life of ease.
She explains: “His mum and all three of his brothers’ wives are stay-at-home-mums and although I respect their choice, I am not quitting my career and did not under any circumstances make my boyfriend think I could compromise on that.
“I hate house chores and I would rather buy homemaking gadgets and hire staff no matter the cost than have to do chores myself.
“I told my boyfriend’s mum all this and it caused an argument that eventually ruined dinner and in extension our visit.”
She goes on to say that her boyfriend “doesn’t care” about whether she continues working or becomes a stay-at-home wife but points out he’s disappointed she didn’t do the test.
“He thinks it’s a fun tradition that everyone was looking forward to and I should have gone along with it anyways,” she notes.
Eager to get everyone else’s perspective, the woman asked forum users who they think is in the wrong – and she wasn’t short of opinions.
“OP’s dad/uncle’s/male family members need to devise a test for him,” wrote one.
A second agreed: “Fine. Let him take a test. He can rotate the tires, change the oil and maybe rework the transmission on a car, install a new muffler while he’s at it.
“Then he can perform a series of tests of lifting heavy objects. How are his plumbing skills? He’s going to need to know how to fix a leaky faucet.”
“Your father and brothers and male friends can judge him on his manliness and decide if he is prepared to be a ‘proper’ husband.
“He might also need to prove he makes enough money to support you for when you have to stay home and perform all those ‘wifely’ duties.
“What an obnoxious family.”
A third added: “Better test him on his manliness! Can he tie a necktie? Can he fix a flat tire? Can he unclog a toilet? Can he mow the lawn? If he fails at any one of these, he isn’t good enough for OP!
OP is NOT the AH and I hope she gets the f*** out of that relationship!”