My MIL Keeps Telling Me NOT To Have Children And I Don't Understand Why
Asian woman seated on the sofa at home, her head cradled in her hands. Reflecting a blend of emotion and solitude, the scene conveys the universal experience of deep contemplation within the comfort of one's personal spaceDeciding when to have children or even not have is something quite personal when it comes to relationships.
Some choose to wait till a certain age, others choose to wait until they achieve a certain career milestone.
But at the end of the day, it’s usually a decision between the two people who will eventually raise the children.
However, this one parent was left fuming after her mother in law told her she did not want her to have children. The parent posted about the dilemma on Reddit.
She explained that she had been married to her partner for two years and every time the topic of children comes up, her MIL behaves weirdly.
“Last year, my MIL and I went to a wedding together and I bumped into two family friends there, who I spent the evening with. When we came back home, my MIL and I were having a chat about the evening (it was just the two of us at home) and she asked me if I had fun with them.
“I said yes, although there were a few points in the conversation where I was quiet because they are both new mothers and were exchanging birth and hospital stories, and I don’t have kids yet so I didn’t have anything to add. MIL responded by waving her hands frantically in front of my face and saying “No! No! It’s way too early for you right now! You can’t have a baby yet!” she wrote.
She also discussed another incident when her and her husband had been talking about being neat and keeping the house tidy.
“I said something like “lets see how our kids turn out” and before I could even finish my sentence, she completely cut me off and changed the subject,” said the Redditor.
For context, the poster explained that her MIL is already a grandma to her husband’s sister’s child.
Reddit users were quick to chime in with their own experience with similar situations. One said: “Do we have the same MIL? Mines current favourite is, ‘I’m WAYY TOO YOUNG to be a grandma, you can’t possibly be thinking about having kids yet.’”
Another said when they had their third baby, their MIL decided to talk about birth control in front of them!
Some gave advice to the Redditor saying the poster shouldn’t tell her MIL if she was planning to have kids and another said to straight up tell her that the decision is not her business.
If you’re in a similar situation and think your in laws are toxic, according to advice on Marriage.com it’s best if your partner deals with the boundaries that you have in place as a couple. This means your partner can let them know what is acceptable and what is not.
Though it’s an awkward situation to be in, what would YOU advise?
