Taylor Swift’s biggest barbs aimed at exes after Matt Healy & Joe Alwyn digs mean pop superstar has now slammed 14 exes
SHE’S the pop princess who just can’t resist a pop at her exes – and her new album is no exception.
Taylor Swift surprised the world by dropping a Part Two to her Tortured Poets Department album two hours after its release early yesterday morning, and the combined 31-song double record delivers blows to former British beaus Joe Alwyn and Matty Healy.
The duo are in good company, as the 34-year-old serial dater has over the years delivered swift justice to 14 of her former lovers.
Today, we present yet another Taylor album — this time using her back catalogue to bring you a greatest hits of barbs against the men she has been romantically involved with.
The second part of yesterday’s album, called The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology, also reignites her feud with Kim Kardashian.
The pair fell out in 2016, after Kim’s then husband Kanye West branded Taylor a “bitch” in his song Famous.
In track thanK you aIMee — which features the US reality star’s name in capital letters — Taylor appears to brand her a bully.
She also sings: “I wrote a thousand songs that you find uncool. I built a legacy which you can’t undo. And in your mind, you never beat my spirit black and blue.
“One day your kid comes home singing a song that only us two are gonna know is about you. All that time you were throwing punches, I was buildin’ somethin’.
“And I can’t forgive the way you made me feel.”
It is classic Taylor, who has never been one to pull punches, as we — and 14 exes — find out in our own Taylor’s greatest hits . . .
Song: Picture To Burn
Boyfriend: First love Jordan Alford who she dated aged 14.
They had a nasty break-up after he went out with a former friend of Taylor’s.
Lyric: I hate that stupid old pick-up truck you never let me drive.
You’re a redneck heartbreak who’s really bad at lying.
Song: Teardrops On My Guitar
Boyfriend: Taylor’s high school crush Drew Hardwick who repeatedly ignored her.
Two years after the song’s success, he showed up on her driveway.
She told him: “Wow, you’re late.”
Lyric: Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see that I want and I’m needing everything that we should be.
I’ll bet she’s beautiful, that girl he talks about, and she’s got everything that I have to live without.
Song: Hey Stephen
Boyfriend: Singer Stephen Barker Liles, who she got close to while touring with him in 2008.
Lyric: Hey Stephen, I could give you 50 reasons why I should be the one you choose. All those other girls, well they’re beautiful, but would they write a song for you?
Song: Forever And Always
Boyfriend: Joe Jonas, pop star who she dated for three months in 2008 until he ended it over the phone.
Lyric: Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide like a scared little boy.
Song: Mine
Boyfriend: The late Glee star Cory Monteith, who she secretly dated for a month in 2009.
Lyric: You put your arm around me for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. You are the best thing that’s ever been mine.
Song: Back To December
Boyfriend: Actor Taylor Lautner, who she met on the set of film Valentine’s Day in 2009. They broke up that December.
Lyric: I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right. And how you held me in your arms that September night.
Song: Dear John
Boyfriend: Singer John Mayer, who she dated for two months. She was 19 and he was 31.
Lyric: Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone. Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?
Song: Starlight
Boyfriend: Politician Robert F. Kennedy Jr’s son Conor Kennedy, who she dated in the summer of 2012.
Lyric: I met Bobby on the boardwalk, summer of ’45. Picked me up late one night at the window. We were 17 and crazy, running wild, wild.
Song: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
Boyfriend: Actor Jake Gyllenhaal, who Taylor dated in 2010.
Lyric: I’m really gonna miss you picking fights, and me, falling for it, screaming that I’m right.
And you would hide away and find your peace of mind with some indie record that’s much cooler than mine.
Song: Style
Boyfriend: One Direction hunk Harry Styles, with whom Taylor had a whirlwind romance in 2013.
Lyric: Cause you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye, and I got that red lip classic thing that you like.
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time, ’cause we never go out of style.
Song: I Did Something Bad
Boyfriend: Actor Tom Hiddleston, who she had a three-month romance with in the summer of 2016.
Lyric: I never trust a playboy but they love me.
So I fly him all around the world and I let them think they saved me.
Song: I Forgot That You Existed
Boyfriend: DJ Calvin Harris, who she dated for 15 months, from 2015.
Lyric: I forgot that you existed. It isn’t love, it isn’t hate. It’s just indifference.
Song: The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
Boyfriend: Joe Alwyn, who she broke up with last year after six years.
Lyric: You didn’t measure up in any measure of a man.
I would have died for your sins but instead I just died inside.
Song: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
Boyfriend: The 1975 frontman Matty Healy. They dated for a month last summer.
Lyric: The jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud.
They shake their heads saying, “God help her” when I tell them he’s my man.
But your good Lord doesn’t need to lift a finger. I can fix him, no really I can.
I don’t get what the big deal is anyway
By Rod McPhee
IN the world of pop she is the ultimate digestive biscuit, when what we really want is a party ring.
I appreciate I’m one of a very small minority of people who can’t stand the Taylor Swift phenomenon, but I’m standing my ground here.
Not because I’m a misogynist who can’t stand to see a powerful woman call the shots in a male-dominated industry, but the opposite.
I refer you back to the Eighties, when the changing world of rock and pop became dominated by divas strutting around stages with bouffant hair, giant earrings and towering high heels.
And that was just the men. The women were even wilder. Tina Turner, Madonna, Annie Lennox – they were gender-bending, trendsetting, rebellious trailblazers who took the planet by storm.
They broke taboos regarding race, class, religion and, of course, sexism. No one had ever seen anyone quite like them before.
Which is why I’m utterly bewildered by our fringed friend whose army of sycophants hail her as the musical messiah.
I will acknowledge that Tay-Tay writes great lyrics and has knocked out some sensational pop songs.
She’s also clearly very shrewd and strong-willed and isn’t pandering to anyone’s perceptions of how she should be.
Good for her. She’s a decent pop star. But she’s not, as so many claim, an iconic one.
In order to earn this iconic status, and the smoke constantly blown up her backside, she ought to be serving something more than a few brightly coloured leotards, which, let’s face it, is the sort of get-up Madonna would wear to nip for a loaf at Tesco.
Madge tackled head-on sexuality, male chauvinists and just about every other form of bigotry imaginable.
Those of us of a certain age will recall her Like A Prayer video, which took a swipe at the Catholic Church and featured a black actor playing Jesus Christ, who she snogged . . . oof!
And my scepticism isn’t just because I’m a child of the Eighties, either.
Look at all the amazing performers who have emerged since then – Britney Spears, Beyonce, Amy Winehouse.
They’re all incredibly distinctive, talented women who, 30 years from now, will still be impersonated and revered.
But will we be able to say the same thing about Swifty? I doubt it.
And for all parents who think she’s an inspirational role model, do you really want your kids to grow up coveting a career washing their dirty linen in public?