I can’t trust my girlfriend because of my parents

DEAR DEIDRE: When I was seven years old, my parents abandoned me.

Twenty years later, I still struggle to come to terms with it and it’s making it impossible to trust my girlfriend.

We’ve been together for a year and I adore her but I am finding it hard to believe this will last.

I’m 27, she’s 28 and this is my first relationship. Previously I had tried to date from time to time but had always been unlucky in love.

Since we met I’ve been besotted with her, but learning to totally trust her has felt impossible.

I keep expecting her to hurt me even though she has given me no reason to feel that way. It’s as if I’m waiting for her to find someone better and leave me behind.

Every time I see her even talking to another man I’m filled with jealousy.

She constantly reassures me, so I really shouldn’t be freaking out like this.

How do I get over this?

DEIDRE SAYS: Given the way your parents left you, it’s not surprising your self-defence mechanism kicks in and stops you feeling secure, even in a good relationship.

These feelings are deep rooted so you’ll need to take time to work on developing healthier thinking patterns. My counselling support pack explains how you can find the help you need.

Continue to talk openly with your girlfriend and, with her support, you might be able to work on this together and strengthen your relationship.