Madonna says nobody told her as a child that her mom was dying: 'she disappeared and there was no explanation'
Madonna's mother — who shares the same name as her famous daughter — died in 1963, when the pop icon was 5 years old.
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- Madonna honored her mother, who died from breast cancer at 30, in a Mother's Day Instagram post.
- "Nobody told me my mother was dying," the singer, 65, wrote in the caption, recounting her childhood.
- Experts say parents should take into account their kids' ages and emotional maturity when discussing death.
Madonna paid tribute to her mother, who died aged 30 after a battle with breast cancer, in an emotional Mother's Day post.
On Sunday, the pop star uploaded an Instagram post and recalled what it felt like as a child.
"I stood on stage for 81 shows staring up at the beautiful face of my mother and wondering what she must've been thinking as she waved goodbye to me from her hospital window," Madonna wrote in her caption, referring to a segment in her "Celebration" concert tour that honored her mother.
"I stepped into the station wagon and shut the door not knowing it was the last time I'd see her," the pop star, 65, continued.
Madonna added that she wasn't aware of the extent of her mother's illness as a child.
"Nobody told me my mother was dying — I just watched her disintegrate mysteriously and then she disappeared and there was no explanation except that she had gone to sleep which explains my tumultuous relationship with sleep," she wrote.
The "Like A Virgin" singer's mother — who shares the same name as her famous daughter — died in 1963, when the pop icon was 5 years old.
In an interview with Time in 1985, Madonna shared that she remembers her mother "being a very forgiving, angelic person" who "never complained" and tried to shield her kids from the harsh reality of her illness.
"I remember also I knew she was sick for a long time with breast cancer, so she was very weak, but she would continue to go on and do the things she had to do," Madonna told Time.
Her mother's death left a huge impact on her, resulting in a "mother complex" that made her yearn for attention, she told Carrie Fisher in a 1991 Rolling Stone interview.
"She's gone, so I've turned my need on to the world and said, 'OK, I don't have a mother to love me, I'm going to make the world love me,'" the singer said.
Although it might be uncomfortable for parents to speak to their children about death, such discussions can help kids better understand the topic in a safe space.
Parents should take their kids' ages and emotional maturity into account when approaching the subject, Elizabeth Hicks, Parenting Nerd cofounder, told Business Insider. It's also better for parents to avoid using euphemisms to describe death. By using terms like "went to sleep," children may develop anxiety at bedtime, Hannah Ly, a child therapist, added.
Madonna is a mother herself. She has six children, including Lourdes Leon, whom she shares with ex-boyfriend Carlos Leon, and Rocco Ritchie, whom she shares with ex-husband Guy Ritchie. She also adopted her kids David and Mercy, and twins Stella and Estere — who were all born in Malawi.
A representative for Madonna did not immediately respond to a request for comment sent outside regular business hours.