I was stalked like Baby Reindeer – my ex spied on me using my Amazon Alexa, the Netflix show is just insensitive
A WOMAN whose obsessed ex spied on her using her Amazon Alexa has branded Netflix’s Baby Reindeer is “insensitive” and “unrealistic”.
Shelby Laidlaw, 34, spoke out following the release of the hugely popular series, which details creator Richard Gadd’s real-life experience with his own stalker.
Mum-of-four, Shelby, says she found the series “shocking” after being subject to a campaign of harassment by Hassan Mehmet, 35.
The pair had been together for 13 years but she ended things in April 2022, triggering Hassan’s campaign of abuse – including threatening to throw acid in her face.
In the space of a month, he showed Shelby a knife and threatened to use it on her male friend, listened into private conversations in her home after hacking into her Alexa and smashed up her car on the M20.
Despite being arrested on May 5, 2022, Hassan was released 10 days later and continued to threaten to stab Shelby and to pay someone to beat up her then-boyfriend.
He was eventually remanded into custody after sending messages in which he threatened to ”plunge a knife” into her throat.
On Friday January 13, 2023, Mehmet, from Southwark, South London, appeared at the Old Bailey and pleaded guilty to stalking, dangerous driving, driving without insurance and driving without a licence.
He was handed a two-year suspended sentence and a 10-year restraining order.
She says that after her own ordeal, Baby Reindeer has left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Shelby, a carer, from Greenwich, London, said: “I watched the series as soon as it came out because, like everyone else, I was intrigued.
“I found it hard to watch at times because of how dramatised it was.
“I thought Donny going to Martha’s house and then later dreaming about sleeping with her, was insensitive to victims of stalking.
“When you’re being harassed, you wouldn’t put or think of yourself in that situation.
“I wouldn’t have thought to follow Hassan home when he was harassing me because I was so stressed out and terrified.
“The only good thing to come out of our relationship is our children and I feel for them too.
“I did think that Baby Reindeer’s depiction of how the police handle stalking cases was accurate.
“Sadly more often than not, the police don’t act quick enough and it’s too late.
“Thankfully nothing happened to me but not everyone escapes their stalkers.”
The former couple met when Shelby was just 17 through mutual friends in 2009.
After hitting it off at a house party, Hassan took Shelby’s number and the pair went on to date.
The mum-of-three said: “He seemed really taken with me and he was older than me – it was all a bit exciting at 17.
“But his behaviour would change, especially under the influence of alcohol.”
In December 2011, the couple had their first child and their second in April 2016.
Despite being a “good father at first”, Hassan slipped back into old habits and Shelby found herself having to look after the children as well as work part-time as a hairdresser.
“I really thought he’d get his act together when we had our first child,” Shelby said.
“But he’d prefer to go out drinking with his mates after work then come home and be with his family.”
In April 2022, the couple called it quits but Hassan didn’t let that stop him from interfering in Shelby’s life.
On 19 April, she found Hassan was spying on her via her Amazon Alexa.
What to do if you suspect you're being stalked
Tony Neate, CEO of Get Safe Online, tells Sun Online: “The perpetrators commonly obtain details about you via online information of personal and financial affairs, social and work life, relationships and your location.
As a starting point, ensure only the minimum information about you is available online and take stalking seriously.
Report it before it has serious effects on you and others and keep a record of all that takes place so you collate evidence whilst it is happening.
For expert advice visit Get Safe Online.”
Still logged in to the device, he was able to listen in on conversations she was having.
Not content to just eavesdrop, he would even hijack the technology and play loud music at ”inconvenient times as another means of control”.
When Shelby allowed him to accompany her to a hospital appointment – but in the car afterwards he showed her a knife and threatened to use it on her male friend.
On 22 April Hassan sent her 118 messages, came to Shelby’s address and threatened to throw acid in her face before driving off in her car.
Later that day, Mehmet drove Shelby’s Jaguar on the M20 and deliberately crashed it.
Despite being arrested shortly afterwards, Hassan was then released 10 days later and continued to threaten to stab Shelby and to pay someone to beat up her then-boyfriend.
In October 2022 he pleaded guilty to stalking, dangerous driving, driving without insurance and driving without a licence.
Following the provision of psychological and probation reports, Judge Philip Katz KC said he was “just persuaded” to avoid handing out a prison sentence.
He said: “It’s an appalling course of conduct against your partner between April and July 2022.
“You were repeatedly messaging, calling, threatening, posting on Facebook, spying on her with an Alexa device.
“It is appalling.
”The whole thing was simply a disgusting course of conduct.”
Two years on, Shelby says she is in a much better place.
Shelby said: “If I could tell 17-year-old me anything I would tell her to have the strength to leave sooner rather than later.
“I’m doing okay now; I’ve become a mum again and I’m in a new relationship.
“I wouldn’t have been able to watch the series if I wasn’t in a good place.”
Anyone affected by this story can reach out to Women’s Aid on 0808 2000 247 or by visiting www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk.
