24 hours after I got engaged a fan told me they’d slept with my fiance, says This Morning star
THIS Morning star Michelle Ellman has told that she first found out that her fiancé’s infidelity on Instagram, just hours after they’d got engaged.
The 30-year-old life coach and relationship expert, dubbed the queen of boundaries, was notified by one of her followers, who informed her that her husband-to-be had been unfaithful.
Having announced the happy news of her engagement to her followers on Instagram, Michelle’s world was promptly upended, when a woman from her husband’s past, chose to come forward with the truth.
The life coach who appears as a regular on ITV’s This Morning said she felt shocked and humiliated.
Speaking to the Daily Mail, she said: “24 hours after announcing my engagement to the man I loved, in April this year, I discovered from one of my Instagram followers that he had been cheating on me.
My instinct was to hide away. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. I had proudly shared the news of my engagement to more than half a million people on my social media — and now here I was, the expert on personal development, betrayed and humiliated.”
But rather than suffer in silence, Michelle, who is the author of four best-selling books on relationships, felt compelled to use her platform to speak honestly about her ordeal, as a mouthpiece for other women who’ve been betrayed.
She said: As a relationship coach and social media star, I realise people expect my own life to be perfect, but of course it isn’t. And my feeling is that if I broadcast my highs — my engagement, my book announcements, my TED Talk — I’m duty-bound to address my lows too. I felt I owed it to myself and other betrayed women to speak the truth and hold my head high.”
Michelle revealed that she found out because the woman with whom her fiancé had been unfaithful, contacted her directly to inform her of his indiscretion.
It was when they were Facetiming family abroad about with the news of their engagement that the message from the ‘other woman’ pinged through.
“At that very moment, my fiance and I were FaceTiming his brother to talk him through our news, and as the ping of the message came through, I said, ‘Ooh, who’s this person?’, and named my correspondent.
My fiancé didn’t react, nor even appear to hear me. But as soon as we finished the call, he went to the loo to be sick.
Not for a second did I connect this with her name. To say I trusted him is an understatement. ‘Oh no, did you eat something funny?’ I asked him, and turned to the TV to press play on our favourite programme, Grey’s Anatomy.
At that point, I thought she must be a colleague, or a friend of a friend — someone I’d forgotten. But why was she asking me to confirm my fiancé’s name?
I asked him again a few minutes later, still not suspecting a thing, and he said, ‘I don’t know. It’s creepy how many people know who you are.’
‘Well, she knows your full name — so why don’t you know hers?’
‘Oh, maybe she’s a girl I dated years ago,’ he said.
His attitude wasn’t defensive, but his response felt strange.
Half an hour later, another ping. But this time there was no going back, no glib explanations. This time, the woman sent me my fiance’s dating profile, from the dating app they’d met on. I could feel the room start to spin a little, my stomach to churn. I asked him what on earth was going on.”
Initially Michelle felt her world fell apart upon discovering the truth, not least because her dream of starting a family has now been delayed.
But she says that at least now, she’s no longer in the dark about her exes true nature.
She said: I do forgive him for what he did — I forgave him almost instantly. And I still love him. But none of that is enough to maintain a relationship. Love without respect is useless.
Love without fidelity in a monogamous relationship is pointless. The decision to stay in the relationship is about whether his behavior can change, and I don’t think it can. If you asked me whether I think he’d cheat again, I’d say ‘yes’.
And the relationship guru even admits that’s she very grateful to the woman for getting in touch with her.
“I am so grateful to that woman for getting in touch. It took courage to message me, and I now think she’s a pretty fabulous person. As I joked on my Instagram post, you’ve got to admire his taste in women.”
Now it seems that her cheating ex is trying to win her back, now that she has moved on, but Michelle insists that there are at the point of no return.
“My ex tells me he wants me back, but I’m not a fool. It wasn’t just a drunken accident. It was intentional; three times when he travelled abroad, he went on dating apps. I don’t think he’d ever have told me, and I don’t think he’d ever have stopped cheating. Why did he delete the evidence? Because he wanted me and he wanted to carry on with other women.”