How can I ensure our threesome doesn’t remain a one off?
DEAR DEIDRE: After enjoying a threesome with my wife and a close friend last week, I’d love to make it a regular part of our sex life.
But while my wife admits she had fun too, she now feels embarrassed and ashamed.
We’ve been happily married for five years. My wife is 41 and I’m 43.
She’s a health care assistant and I’m a plasterer. When we first met in a pub, my friend, 44, was there too.
We both chatted her up, but I won her over with my charm.
My wife and I have always had an adventurous sex life. Recently, we talked about having a threesome.
She was up for it, so we asked my mate to be our third sex partner.
He came over for a few drinks and then he took my wife upstairs. He took her clothes off and they kissed while I watched.
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When I saw how big he was, I felt slightly intimidated, but my wife gave us both the same attention.
It was everything I’d imagined it would be.
The next morning, we talked about what had happened. She realised she needed to take the morning-after pill because I’ve had the snip, and he didn’t use protection.
I’d love a repeat performance, but she has reservations.
She’s worried about fancying my mate now, and how that might affect us.
And she also said she can’t get contraception from our GP because the doctor knows I’ve had a vasectomy!
She told me she’d feel ashamed if people found out she was having sex with two men.
How can I convince her?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You shouldn’t even try to convince her. If she wants to do this again, she will tell you.
Nobody should feel pressured to do something sexual that they may have reservations about.
She’s explained why she feels uneasy, and you need to accept her reasons.
It’s a shame you didn’t think about contraception in advance. It would have been wise to have safe sex.
Her worry about fancying your friend is a valid one. You already know he fancies her.
Things could get very messy in your relationship and for your friendship if this became a regular event.
Instead, think of this as a great experience to remember.
My support pack on Threesomes explains more. Also see 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex, so you can have satisfying sexual adventures without bringing in a third party.
