Will HIV stop me from finding the one?

DEAR DEIDRE: How can I ever hope to find love when I am HIV positive?

Since I caught the virus in my late 20s, I’ve been too afraid to date again.

Now I’m a 41-year-old woman, and I’d like to have another relationship.

I have no idea how I caught HIV, but it was a time in my life when I slept with anyone who was interested in me.

At a routine sexual health clinic check-up, I mentioned my glands were up and that I’d been feeling very tired.

I thought I was just run down, but the nurse said I should have an HIV test.

To my shock, it came back positive.

I was devastated but I’ve managed to live with it, and the medication means I’m still in good health.

My sister recently got married. It made me realise that I don’t want to be old and lonely – but who would want to marry me when I have this disease?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry you are living with HIV but it is no longer a death sentence and, with care, you can still have a fulfilling relationship.

It’s worth checking out the specialist websites for HIV dating.

Alternatively, focus on forming friendships rather than striving to find a relationship. When you get to know a person and feel more comfortable with them, you can explain your situation.

Get the most up-to-date advice and information about HIV and your general health from The Terrence Higgins Trust (tht.org.uk, tel: 0808 802 1221).

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