The Best Smutty Love Interests Are … Sentient Objects?

As the old internet adage goes: If it exists, there is porn of it. TikTok’s book community, BookTok for short, has proven the same is true of spicy romance novels. If it exists, someone has made it the romantic lead in a smutty book. Emphasis on the it. You are now entering the world of sentient-object smut. Welcome!

The genre is … exactly what it sounds like. A (usually) human protagonist falls in love/lust with an object that has gained sentience via curse, magic spell, or other paranormal forces. Cassie Durand, who runs the aptly named TikTok account @UnfortunateReads, has reviewed everything from gingerbread-man smut to garden-gnome smut to glittery purple-Crocs smut. “I have a soft spot for Light Me Up by Sabrina Cross,” says Durand, referring to a book that can be loosely described as Pixar-lamp erotica. “The entire story was born out of an unhinged Threads conversation I had with the author.”

If you’re new to this NSFW corner of the proverbial bookstore, you might not get exactly how far and wide the range of literal things smut authors have figured out ways for their characters to have sex with. Consider the below then an educational quiz. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a browser history to clear.