My best friend is jealous of my relationship with her brother
DEAR DEIDRE: My so-called best friend keeps sending nasty texts about me to her brother, who is also my boyfriend.
She has always disapproved of all my relationships but now I’m dating her older brother, I’ve realised she’s simply jealous.
It’s been so unpleasant I’ve blocked her but she’s still sending them to her brother.
She drove my last boyfriend away because she was insufferable – constantly demanding to be included in our plans.
That boyfriend dumped me when I tried to persuade him to let her accompany us on our first holiday to Spain.
My friend and I are both 24. When her brother, who’s 27, learned I’d broken up with my ex boyfriend he was really supportive and we became close.
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The sexual attraction between us was unexpected and we slept together so we told my friend one evening, out of respect.
She demanded we leave her flat – that I wasn’t welcome. Since then she’s been texting her brother saying nasty things about me and telling him to show me what she’s said.
I’m heartbroken and my boyfriend doesn’t know who to please – me or his sister.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry that your friend has reacted so unpleasantly.
It’s always upsetting when someone you have trusted and confided in suddenly turns on you.
But from what you have said, she sounds very possessive and jealous. She’s always wanted to keep your friendship exclusive which isn’t healthy for either of you.
Good friendships thrive on freedom and mutual respect.
My guess is that she will have convinced herself that you’ve crossed the ‘girl code’ – where people feel affronted where a friend goes out with someone inappropriate – in this case her brother.
He’s an adult so if he wants to be with you, that is up to him. He’ll have to sort it out and make it clear he’d like her support rather than interference.
Unless she can make a genuine apology, you’d be wise to keep her at arm’s length.