Casual sex with two women led to a family
DEAR DEIDRE: Within one year, I’ve gone from loving the single life and having great sex with two different women to feeling trapped by a woman I don’t want to be with.
I wish I had a time machine.
My life is unrecognisable from a year ago when I was enjoying no-strings sex with two different women. Then, the wrong one got pregnant.
I used to love going out on the pull. I’m 26 and a baker for a supermarket.
We hired a new girl on our deli counter. I thought she was out of my league.
One evening she asked me if I’d give her a lift home.
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We stopped off for a drink and definitely started flirting. She told me she was 29 and single.
She invited me back to hers for a drink. Things got steamy between us after I made a pass at her. We ended up having sex in her front room.
She was everything I wanted in a girlfriend but old habits die hard and I went out a week later and met a girl in a club. She was pretty and 20. She was a total man-eater and clearly decided we were having sex that night.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t complaining. It was fun but I knew all along she wasn’t my type.
Still I started sleeping with both the women and it was great while it lasted.
Then the girl I’d met in the club told me that she was pregnant and I was the father.
My dad left me and my mum when I was three and it was no fun growing up so I thought I should try to make a family out of the situation.
She moved in with me and our son was born. He is my world but his mum, less so. There’s no spark there.
I keep running into my ex at work. She’s the one who gets my heart racing. I feel so trapped.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Find a moment to talk to your girlfriend and explain gently that your relationship doesn’t feel right. She will probably be feeling the same.
Better to be honest and work out a way to be amicable co-parents than bring your son up in a house full of tension.
Your own childhood wasn’t good but you can still be involved and a great father even if you aren’t all living together.
While the thought of living separately may make you feel guilty, consider how damaging a life of resentment – the alternative – would be.
Dad Info (dad.info) has great advice for fathers.