Melissa Etheridge Wants to Take Oprah to a Dispensary
The Grammy-winning rock star and activist talks to the Cut about her new Paramount+ docuseries, Melissa Etheridge: I’m Not Broken.
In 2020, Grammy-winning rock legend and activist Melissa Etheridge lost her 21-year-old son, Beckett, to an opioid overdose. “We struggle with what else we could have done to save him, and in the end we know he is out of the pain now,” the singer said in a statement to People at the time, adding that she would “sing again, soon. It has always healed me.”
Four years later, Etheridge is singing (and songwriting) again, this time for those also struggling with addiction and its aftershocks. In the new docuseries Melissa Etheridge: I’m Not Broken, available July 9 on Paramount+, Etheridge, who also started a research foundation into opioid addiction, returns to her home state of Kansas to connect with five incarcerated women serving drug-related sentences at the Topeka Correctional Facility. The women wrote letters to Etheridge detailing their lives and struggles; in return, she set out to write a song for them, a small act of compassion. To Etheridge, those small acts constitute real help. “I’m not going to ‘save’ these people,” Etheridge tells the Cut. “Everyone has their own journey. It’s their choice to walk a path toward what’s warm or, you know, back into fear. It’s just maybe changing hearts and minds, which helps open more paths.” We caught up with Etheridge to speak about her experience making the docuseries and also gave one of music’s greats a taste test. Spoiler alert: She loves Cowboy Carter and doesn’t understand why millennials rewatch comfort shows.
What was the experience of turning your correspondence with these women into a docuseries?
It was really incredible, because it took a long time. This whole thing was years in the making. When we started corresponding, I was this sort of anonymous person, and they just sort of threw down everything they’ve been through, all the trauma. The first batch of letters was a slap in the face of what these women had endured. There’s the path to drugs to ease that pain, then to crime to hold up the drug habit. It’s a common story. It’s hard to say what it was like. It was moving. It was hard sometimes. One wants to be compassionate. Yet one wants to really provide real help, real solutions, and that’s what presenting all this was.
That reminds me of something you said in the series, that you can’t save anyone but can “be a light that holds these people up and says, ‘You matter.’”
Yeah, that’s what I want to show. I’m not going to “save” these people. Everyone has their own journey. It’s their choice to walk a path toward what’s warm or, you know, back into fear. It’s just maybe changing hearts and minds, which helps open more paths.
On to the taste test. Where do you get your best culture recommendations from?
I was very much a reader of social media, but I’ve cut back on that this year. My wife works in the entertainment industry. She pretty much has her finger on the pulse of everything. Also my children: I have a 27-year-old and two 17-year-olds. Between the three of them and my wife, we pretty much cover the culture out there right now. And then I’ll find my own stuff.
You’re hopping in an Uber XL and can bring five celebrities with you — who’s coming?
My friend Hugh Jackman. He’s a delightful person and makes me laugh. If I bring Hugh, I gotta bring Ryan Reynolds. He’s amazing, and the two of them together make me laugh. Then Taylor Swift, just because I want to catch up with her. I want to ask her questions and share experiences with her. Then I’m bringing Oprah Winfrey. I want to talk to her. And Tiffany Haddish. That’s a great car, isn’t it?
I wonder what the destination is.
A dispensary here in California.
Something for everybody. What’s the last meal you cooked for dinner?
It was sort of a breakfast-for-dinner. My daughter just got her wisdom teeth out, so I made her mashed potatoes. We had potato patties, eggs, and spinach. A buttery sauce goes over that. Like a Florentine. I love to make dinner.
What is your go-to creative ritual?
If I’m going to the studio, I spend a lot of time in my own experience. That’s where inspiration comes from. If I can look out and see these beautiful flowers — what’s that feeling? I’m going to go from there. If I think about a relationship, my relationship now — what’s that feeling? I’m going to be awake and alive. That’s not a ritual, just the ability to stay connected with the inspiration. And I stay open: That’s a lot of good food and good sleep. On the road, the day is very much a routine. Get up go to sound check, eat dinner, get hair and makeup, do a meet-and-greet, and the show. We do fist bumps with the band; that in itself is a ritual.
What’s your comfort rewatch?
I don’t like to rewatch things. You millennials are strange to me. You’ll watch something and watch it again. My 17-year-old is watching something for the fourth or fifth time. I’m like, What’s wrong with you people? I grew up in the ’60s and ’70s. If there was something you missed, you were never going to see it again. If you watched it once, you’d never see it again. That being said, I will rewatch movies with my kids, especially movies we watched when they were children. I was just rewatching the Toy Story movies, and they’re amazing. I will rewatch animated movies, still. But I can’t rewatch a full season of anything, I can’t do that. It’s something y’all do.
What is something you’ll never, ever watch?
My daughter, when she was a child, looked like Cindy Lou Who. My adorable little daughter has now grown into an adorable teenager who loves horror films. I’ll walk into the room and she’ll say, ‘Don’t look at the screen, Mom, it’s Saw II.’ I’m like, ‘Oh God, it’s the middle of the day. Why are you watching Saw?’ I will not watch horror films. My children are dying for me to watch The Walking Dead and I won’t. I already know by how much y’all have watched it that I do not wish to. The whole zombie thing … when I’m in the city, I see zombies. It’s too real for me.
What’s your favorite game to play?
When I fly and have spare time, I play backgammon. I know that sounds boring, but it keeps my mind going and I love it. I’ll also do solitaire and blackjack. Solitaire is a lovely thing to do for myself.
What music do you listen to when you’re alone?
I have a Black-women-of-country playlist. I’ll listen to that. Cowboy Carter, that’s my go-to thing. I’m listening to more country because pop music has gone so EDM, which is fine. But when I want to get that morning kick in the pants, I’ll listen to modern country music. I also like to listen to Larkin Poe and Joy Oladokun. A lot of Americana artists who are hard to put into a genre. I can listen to Cowboy Carter over and over, and I find something new every time.
What about a car song?
I have so many different types of car music. A lot of it depends on where I’m going, what I’m doing, what kind of day it is. I have SiriusXM. The Highway is my first choice, that’s the modern country station. But I’ll turn on Pulse and listen to the latest Ariana Grande or Taylor Swift. But then I’ll put on freaking yacht rock, you know? I love listening to Michael McDonald. I can really get into a good yacht-rock song.
Name a book you couldn’t put down.
In the last 20 years I’ve read so many books, but in the last five years I haven’t read a lot. The books I haven’t put down were by Graham Hancock. Fingerprints of the Gods. He’s an anthropologist and searches for forbidden anthropology. Right now i’m reading Gabor Maté’s The Myth of Normal. That’s about how all of us have early trauma in our lives and so much of our choices are made out of that. It’s an incredible book, a big, thick book; it has so many answers and guidance in it that are just priceless.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
Best advice I ever received was from Bruce Springsteen. He’s the one who told me, “Just keep touring, keep going back to Europe, they’ll never give up on you; if you go, they’ll constantly come out and see you.” He advised me that touring is the key to a long rock-and-roll career.
And the worst advice?
The worst advice, I guess it wasn’t advice. I took voice lessons in ninth grade. My mother saw I was singing and serious about a career. She sent me to a woman who’d been at the Met, an opera singer. I worked with her for about a month. She finally told me, “Tell your mom to save your money, you’re going to sing like you sing.” Everything turned out alright.
I’d say so. What show is your wife not allowed to watch without you?
She will watch things over; she’s allowed to watch things. It’s mostly movies we’re not allowed to watch. We love watching cooking shows: Top Chef, love Top Chef. Tournament of Champions. Just watched the last season of Hacks, we really enjoyed Hacks. The one thing that we don’t watch without each other is football games. We love football. My wife’s a Packers fan. I’m a Kansas City Chiefs fan. We’ll wait to watch the games until we’re with each other.
What would your last meal be?
The eggnog waffles from Melba’s in Harlem. And I’d also do the artichoke salad from Nobu and its bento-box dessert: a hot-chocolate lava cake with green-tea ice cream.
I love a bicoastal last meal.
And a catfish taco from Cathy’s Kitchen in Ferguson, Missouri.
What’s the worst thing to do at a dinner party?
Say you’re on a diet. When I’m on the road, I don’t eat gluten, I don’t eat dairy, I don’t eat red meat, I’m allergic to tomatoes — I’m that sort of person, incredibly boring, when I’m working. When I’m not working, I’ll eat everything. I keep myself healthy, but at a dinner party I’m going all out. I’m not going to say no gluten, no dairy. I’m tired of bringing people down at dinner parties. Everyone’s got all this and I have a piece of lettuce and a grain of rice? Don’t go to a dinner party if you’re not going to celebrate food.
Related