The Best Dating Hack Comes From the Dutch
Evil actress Katja Herbers has the best dating tip that she thinks more Americans should follow.
When Katja Herbers shot the first season of Evil, she had a premonition. She knew that one day, she would buy her onscreen children a diptych locket necklace made of recycled gold, with photographs of their first and last seasons together inside to commemorate how much they’ve grown. “I find gifts very important,” the actress says. “And, you know, obviously they have grown so much!” Five years after that first season, the tantalizing Paramount+ drama concludes on August 22, wrapping up four seasons of demon hunting and exorcisms.
But to Herbers’s delight, the critically acclaimed series created by The Good Wife’s Robert and Michelle King has been at the top of streaming charts since the first two seasons were added to Netflix earlier this year. “Now that we’ve proven our worth, maybe Netflix will want to make money off us,” Herbers tells the Cut over Zoom from Brooklyn, hopeful for a possible un-cancellation. You might recognize the Dutch actress from her appearances on Westworld and Manhattan, but she’s the star of Evil, sinking her teeth into the role of Kristen — a skeptical forensic psychologist and mother of four rambunctious children — hired alongside a priest (Mike Colter) and a technology expert (Aasif Mandvi) to investigate paranormal activity on behalf of the Catholic church. The trio of actors have effortless onscreen chemistry, and Herbers describes them as “friends for life” who provided a joyful lifeline during an otherwise difficult period when she found out her father was terminally ill during shooting. “I do think we were able to have so many laughing fits together despite being in such a situation,” she says. “It’s deepened our relationship.”
Below, the actress discusses how Dutch dating rituals have prevented her from going on a real date, how she almost killed her co-star Andrea Martin, and why she’ll always make time for a good thrift haul.
What comes to mind when you think about making Evil’s last season?
The last season was very strange for me because my father was dying as I was filming it. I did get to spend the last five weeks of his life together with him, but it was quite hard for me to do it. Some things just seemed to sort of collide into each other where, for instance, we were shooting episode four, “How to Build a Coffin,” and I had just heard my father was going to die. All these episode titles just kept being my actual life. It’s definitely not as crazy as Kristen’s, thank God, but throughout the show, there have been some parallels between her and me and I have somehow morphed into her sometimes, or she into me.
You’re quite outspoken about injustice, particularly about climate change. What motivates or inspires your engagement in activism?
Everyone should be extremely worried, and we should all be climate activists right now. Science knows that we’re on track to lose basically everything. There are solutions, and unfortunately, our governments aren’t doing it. So we have to hit the streets and pressure our elected officials to take action. I started being part of activist groups like Extinction Rebellion and Climate Defiance a couple years ago back home in the Netherlands. Because I have a little bit of a platform, I feel it is my duty to use that to warn people. We will all become climate activists at some point. If we’re fighting over water, nothing else will matter. A hopeful statistic that I like to bring up is we only need 3 percent of the global population to start a revolution.
Now for our “Rules to Live By” questions: What’s your No. 1 rule for a successful dinner party?
I love an activity. We do poker dinner party. Poker is the social glue; you sometimes have more interesting conversations during poker than if you’re there just to converse. I also love drawing. Anything that I can think of that is a little extra on top of just having food.
What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone?
Opal. It helps me stay off social media. These phones are made to be like those slot machines, we’re not able to resist them. My thumb will still go to Instagram.
What’s your best rule for raising a child?
I don’t have children, but I’d love to have children. I have my TV children. If I were a mom, I think what a child needs is love, right? And affection, and to be able to be themselves. I think it’s the job as a parent to celebrate whatever they are and not put on them what you want them to be and to love them through their journey of figuring it out.
What’s your No. 1 fashion rule?
I like thrifting and not buying junk. It’s not up to the individual consumer, and these little things don’t really matter in the bigger scale of things, because what matters is taking down the fossil-fuel industry, but anything that I can do to just feel a little better about, at least, myself. I’ve heard a crazy statistic that said there’s enough clothes in the world for the next five generations.
What’s your No. 1 rule for tipping?
Tip well. Tip plenty. I find it a little strange that that’s even a thing. In Holland, you don’t have to tip because people get paid and they have health care and they get vacation time. This is a very different country. Luckily, I’m in a place right now where I can tip well, and I will tip well.
What’s your No. 1 rule for advice-giving?
Listen. I don’t love advice-giving that much. My sister will sometimes ask me for advice, and I’ve stopped giving her advice because I know it’ll backfire. But just rooting for someone on can be a form of advice.
Would you send an Edible Arrangement?
During season three, I gave Andrea Martin COVID. This was absolutely horrifying. I was so worried I was going to kill her with my COVID. I checked in with her like 18 times a day. We’ve all had COVID on Evil and we’ve all sent each other stuff. I did end up sending her something to eat. Food is good, if it doesn’t go to waste. Look up independent, female-owned goods. No Styrofoam packaging.
What’s your No. 1 rule for canceling plans?
Don’t agree to plans unless you know that you want to do them. If somebody says, “Oh, do you want to come over in two weeks?” And you kind of don’t want to but you think like, Oh, it’s in two weeks, I’ll be fine … if you don’t want to do it tomorrow, don’t accept.
What’s your No. 1 rule rule for dating?
Dutch people don’t date. Dutch people just, like, go to a party knowing their friends are going to be there, and then one of their friends will bring someone. Then you just end up hanging out with a bunch of people, and then you’re together. I don’t think I’ve ever been taken on a date. I mean, that would be really nice, now that I’ve been in America for a while.
What’s your No. 1 rule for meeting other famous people?
I don’t go out of my way to try and meet famous people. If I were to see somebody who I admire, I think I would probably work up the courage to tell them that I admire them in an extremely, almost annoyingly self-deprecating way. I don’t want to take up any of their time or space.
What is your No. 1 rule on set?
Kindness, enjoyment, and creativity. I really don’t like it when people vent. Evil’s set is very light. I’ve been on sets where people have moods or whatever; I find that extremely annoying and unnecessary. I don’t like any yelling.
What’s your No. 1 rule for posting on social media?
I would love more people with a platform to speak out about the climate crisis. Maybe if every tenth tweet or Instagram post is about making sure we can continue to live as humans here. I think that would be really great.
Related