My kids go to the sleepaway camp I own. I get to see them all summer, but I don't treat them differently than other campers.

Melissa Fitzgerald is the owner and director of Camp Highlander. She makes sure her kids have the same experience as other campers who attend.

• Melissa Fitzgerald is the owner and director of a sleepaway camp.
• Her own kids attend the camp, but she makes sure they have the same experience as other campers. 
• Her kids don't always find it easy being the camp owner's kids.  

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Melissa Fitzgerlad, owner and director of Camp Highlander. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I'm a huge believer in the sleepaway camp experience and that sending kids to camp is a gift. I grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and my parents sent me to an all-girls camp in North Carolina every summer. While I loved it and always planned on sending my kids to camp so they could have the same experience I did, I never imagined I'd own a camp, and my kids would be campers there.

In 2019, my parents decided to sell Camp Highlander, a co-ed sleepaway camp for 6 to 16-year-olds in Henderson County, Western North Carolina, which they'd owned for almost 20 years. They wanted to retire, and their dream was to continue their legacy and pass down the camp from generation to generation.

I had started working at the camp soon after they bought it, and after my husband left the Navy, he also began working there. He had always wanted to own a sleepaway camp, and as we both loved working at Camp Highlander and had plenty of experience, we decided to buy it. We now live at the camp year-round.

My kids started at Camp Highlander when they were 5 years old

My kids have spent every summer at Camp Highlander since they were babies, first when my parents owned it and then when we did. My sons are now 20 and 17 years old, and our daughter is 7 years old. They all started as campers at age 5, and their 16 cousins, who live in Louisiana and Texas, have also gone through the camp, with the last two starting this year.

What I love about going to camp is that it teaches kids important life skills like cooperation, compromise, and conflict resolution. Going to camp also gives them a break from their screens, teaches them to reconnect with others, and develops social skills. They get to escape the world and just be kids. The beauty of our camp is that they can come for one week, two weeks, or five weeks, which is unusual in our region.

We treat our kids like any other campers

One of the best things about having our kids go to our camp is that, unlike other parents who send their kids to camp, we get to share the same experiences they have, which has created a bond between us. They also see us as good role models as they see how hard they work and that we're providing this incredible experience for them and making kids happy.

While it sounds great that we're at the same camp as our kids, kids get the most out of camp when their parents aren't around. We treat ours like every other camper and have strict boundaries, including not visiting our kids in their cabins, them not visiting our cabins, and not sitting together at mealtimes. I see my role as camp mom to all the campers and spend time giving "mom hugs" to kids who are missing their moms, but our kids don't get to hug us. We're mindful that the other kids don't get to see their parents, which could make them homesick.

At times, my boys found it hard being the camp owner's grandchildren or children because of the added pressure that they should know what to do or know better. We're big on grace at Camp Highlander and believe camp should be a safe space for kids to make mistakes, learn from them, and move forward, but new staff and other campers were not always so gracious if our kids did mess up.

They've also had to deal with the fallout when we make decisions that the other campers might not be happy about, like when we banned Crocs for safety reasons, which didn't go down very well with the other kids. During the offseason, we always make a point to talk to our kids about any issues like this that arise during their time at camp, as it helps them process their feelings. They still begged to go back every year.

We're sending my daughter to a different camp this year

My daughter went to Camp Highlander for the first time last year and loved it so much that she spent five weeks there. Our boys never had the opportunity to experience what it's like not to be the owners' children, but we're sending her to a camp in Alabama for a week so she can. She was excited about going and also about returning to Camp Highlander for the rest of the summer. Our older kids will be on staff this summer, one as a counselor and the other as a CIT, which gives us a double perspective.

When we're eventually ready to sell, we hope one of our children will take over the camp and continue my parents' dream of keeping it in the family.