The Queer College Student Having a Threesome Before Moving Away

This week’s sex diary.

In this week’s story, an art-history student makes the most of their last week in town before moving across the country: 23, single, Chicago.

DAY ONE

9 a.m. I start my morning with some TV and knitting on the couch. I’m currently taking summer classes and moving across the country in less than a week, so I really should be more productive.

11 a.m. I can’t stop thinking about Violet. We met on Hinge in January but didn’t meet up until after we matched again on Tinder a few months later. We spent a really good night out together and had crazy-amazing sex, and things got more intense after that. In mid-May, we agreed we were dating but never put any other label on things. But in all honesty, I’ve fallen really hard for her.

I also can’t stop thinking about the threesome I’m having later this week with Violet and another person, Anna, I’ve been seeing. I met Anna on Lex last November: The first hookup we had was actually really funny, because my stomach started growling like crazy and we had to stop so I could eat a snack. I knew pretty fast I wanted them in my life. It’s been one of the healthiest, longest, and most positive relationships I’ve ever had — though one without a label.

The idea for a threesome came about when I was texting Anna about some events I was excited to go to with Violet — they asked to meet Violet, and the thought popped into my head. Anna was into it, Violet was into it, so we all went on a date that went really well! The only hard part was finding a time we’re all free … which is in a few days!

3 p.m. My cat, Tegan, comes to sit beside me. I finish my coffee, smoke a little weed, and get started on packing up my ephemera wall.

4:30 p.m. Go to my bedroom to masturbate and take a nap. I come and immediately pass out.

9 p.m. End up sleeping for three hours instead of finishing anything I need to do, and wake up feeling incredibly anxious. I head out for dinner and drinks with friends.

11 p.m. My two drinks hit me, and I fall asleep as soon as I get back to my apartment.

DAY TWO

10:45 a.m. I wake up too late to catch the bus to therapy, so Uber it is. I’m enjoying the relatively cheap rides in Chicago while I can.

I went to a women’s college in New England for two years but spent most of that time online, since COVID hit in the spring of my freshman year. I failed my last semester there and transferred to a state school here in Chicago. It’s been a struggle, but I can see the finish line now: I’m pretty close to finishing my art-history degree. I ultimately want to work in museums or public arts administration of some kind.

But as much as I’ve loved it here, I decided to move to Portland, where my family lives. I really get along with my parents, and they’re a safe place to land while I look for work while finishing my degree online. That’s another big reason I’m moving, so that I can look for work in my field while not paying rent. I also want to explore a new place — my family only moved to Portland recently — before I decide to settle down somewhere for the long haul. And Chicago is so, so horribly cold.

4:45 p.m. I sleep three hours in the middle of the day again, and when I wake up, my other cat, Sara, is sleeping on my chest. I miss my computer-science discussion section because of spotty Wi-Fi that I can’t be bothered to fix since I’m moving so soon. I really shouldn’t miss it; I’m not doing very well in the class. Oh well.

7 p.m. So much homework! I drink a cup of coffee to focus a little better and actually feel like I absorb the material. That’s nice, for once.

 9:45 p.m. Violet sends me the sweetest playlist. I put it on right away. I pack my winter coats while I listen and gleefully think about tomorrow.

10:30 p.m. Finish a pair of shorts I’ve been knitting.

DAY THREE

9 a.m. Wake up and check my texts. Violet says she’s excited for tonight. I am too — but it’s starting to sink in that in just four days I won’t live here anymore.

10:30 a.m. Go over to my friend June’s to say good-bye. We catch up, and she shows me a furry porn zine she bought last week. It’s remarkable work. We talk about the apps, and she asks me if I’ve ever had luck on Feeld. I haven’t, really — I’m not very kinky. She says she wouldn’t expect that from me, and I laugh. I tell her I have a threesome scheduled for tonight, and she’s amused. I love June.

2 p.m. I get ID’d for a CBD soda on the way home.

6 p.m. I am absolutely consumed with anticipation and a touch of anxiety waiting for Anna and Violet to come over. I want this to go well, but I’m also trying to not get ahead of my own expectations.

7 p.m. Anna and Violet get to my place at about the same time. We smoke, talk, smoke some more. Everyone’s a little awkward trying to figure out how to initiate. Eventually, a lull in conversation comes up and I say, “So, you two wanna have sex?” We go to my room and briefly talk about what exactly we want to do. I ask Violet and Anna to kiss, and they do. Everything’s pretty natural from there. Soon, Violet is fucking Anna from behind while Anna eats me out. The two of them have amazing chemistry — I hope they keep getting to know each other.

10:20 p.m. Afterward, we take a bunch of nudes on a disposable camera and cuddle. My favorite we took was one of all of our feet next to each other in our socks. I can’t stop smiling. I feel satisfied in a deep, warm, pleased way.

DAY FOUR

10 a.m. Still riding the high of last night.

11 a.m. While I start a new knitting project, my mind drifts to the image of Violet stroking my hair while I went down on Anna. I love giving Anna head. The first time we hooked up, they told me I gave the best head of their life, which I fear has been a little too good for my ego. I think about the pile of eyeglasses on my nightstand. I wish we could do it again. The move, three days out, is starting to feel real.

1 p.m. One of my best friends in the whole world, Alex, is in town. I haven’t seen him in over a year and feel so happy I get to see him before I move. We go get Mexican food and catch up. I can’t stop talking about Violet and wondering if things would be different if I weren’t moving. When we’re hanging out on my couch drinking LaCroix, Alex says that this won’t be my only chance to be with her. I know he’s right, but I feel a little sad.

6 p.m. Today, with the move staring me down, I have been thinking, What the fuck am I doing? On a loop.

9 p.m. I’m tired and a little tipsy after dinner with my parents, who are staying right around the corner from me helping me pack up. We discuss our plans for the next three days, how we’re gonna tackle getting out of here. I don’t want to do any of it. My dad asks me how I’m really feeling about the move and I’m honest: I’m excited for something new, but I’ve really been questioning my decision. My mom says that it’s always when you’re leaving that you realize what you have where you are.

DAY FIVE

6:30 a.m. I start my day early watching computer-science lectures before everyone else wakes up. It’s going to be a very busy day.

9 a.m. Make coffee and sit on my couch. I’m going to miss my big cozy living room.

11 a.m. I text Violet to figure out plans for tonight — multiple friends of mine have different things they want to do before the drag show we’re going to.

6:20 p.m. Go see my friend Sean at his place to hang out and say good-bye. I bring him artisan marshmallows I picked up on the walk. He’s recovering from top surgery right now, and I’m so happy for him. We hug gently when I get there, and I say hi to his cat, Socks. He’s painting a giant canvas on the floor, abstract and colorful. Socks walks all over it.

7:30 p.m. Violet picks me up from there and we head to her place, where we smoke some weed with her roommate. As we’re getting ready to go out, Violet pulls me over by my belt loops and kisses me deeply. I ask if she’s going to see Anna again, and she says yes. I’m excited for them.

9:45 p.m. We meet up with my friend Sophie at a dive bar but leave after one drink to go over to Zoe’s place, a beautiful apartment near the venue. We have a drink with Zoe and her friends, and walk down the street to the party. With Violet’s hand in mine I remark on how we won’t get to do this anymore. She kisses my hand and holds it to her face.

Midnight We cling to each other all night. It’s like I can feel time rushing past. We each have a vodka soda and watch the performers and then go downstairs and dance. I want her closer than close to me.

3:30 a.m. After a very restorative weed-and-burrito session, we fuck passionately. At one point, she takes me from behind, has me face down on the mattress, moaning in my ear. It feels so good.

5 a.m. Violet and I do what we’ve been talking about for weeks now and head to the beach for sunrise. We’re exhausted, giddy. The water looks silver. I walk down to the waves and get in Lake Michigan one last time.

DAY SIX

10:20 a.m. I’m awake in bed next to Violet, up too early after our long night. Her pillow case is covered in little glitter stars and moons.

Noon We get ready to head to a café for coffee. On the way out the door, she gives me a letter to read later.

1 p.m. Somehow, time seems to stop for a while at that café table. Then we share a long good-bye kiss, even though we’re going to try to see each other tomorrow. I read her letter: It ends with “With love.”

5 p.m. Anna comes over to see me one last time before I go. I tell them I’m excited for them and Violet. It’s the truth, even though I have a bit of FOMO. We smoke a little weed and then hop right to it. I tell them I want to eat them out really, really badly. I get them on their back quickly and leave marks down their neck. When I feel them coming in my mouth, I think, There is no better feeling than this. This was a good going-away present. When they leave, we kiss at the door and tell each other to stay in touch. I feel absurdly lucky.

9 p.m. I go out for burgers and ice cream with my family. I’m exhausted and still hungover, and when I get home, I feed Tegan and Sara and climb right into bed.

DAY SEVEN

9:30 a.m. My family gets to my apartment at the same time Violet does. I make quick introductions and tell Violet we should go to her car. I tell her I can’t find the camera we took those nudes on and thank her for her letter. We kiss and kiss. I say it’s a shame we can’t get knee-deep in this passenger seat and she laughs. I make her get out of the car so I can hold her one last time.

11 a.m. When I join my family to finish packing up, my dad gives me a hug. He asks if I’m okay, and I tell him I’m sad. Once everything is good to go, I leave the keys on the countertop and we head to the airport, four suitcases and two cats in tow.

7:45 p.m. After we land, we stop at Target for cat supplies and then drive to our house on the east side of town. I’ve been here before, but it still feels foreign to me. Exciting, nerve-racking. I change my location on Lex and immediately get an unsolicited sext. It’s good to know some things don’t change. I change out of my airplane clothes, give the cats dinner, and lay down for a moment. Anna texts me the update I asked for on their cat: He is making biscuits. We agree that this is major.

10 p.m. I put off unpacking until tomorrow. Drink a glass of wine and try not to think too hard. Disoriented, I fall asleep with Tegan and Sara on either side of me.

Want to submit a sex diary? Email sexdiaries@nymag.com and tell us a little about yourself (and read our submission terms here.)