Is my engaged colleague stringing me along?

DEAR DEIDRE: MY colleague goes out of her way to speak to me, making excuses to see me after she has finished work for the day. 

I am a 33-year-old single man. My colleague is 31 and in a relationship. Recently I have become closer to her.

We have always got on, have similar tastes and seem to be interested in the same things.

She is currently engaged to her partner but is always telling me about her man troubles and doubts for their relationship. She constantly asks for my advice.

I don’t really give her advice or comment as it is not my business. I usually just listen but I have started to feel like I actually like her.

I don’t know if she feels the same way. Am I reading too much into the situation?

DEIDRE SAYS: Possibly – that or she may simply want someone to listen to her problems. She may see you as no more than a confidant.

I’m not denying your feelings are very real, but I would resist the temptation to tell her.

Be friends, but if you really care for her don’t make life difficult for her. It’s a big leap to share your feelings when she is already committed to someone else.

Suggest if she has problems in her relationship to seek counselling.

You will find the right woman, but waiting for someone who is committed elsewhere is a waste of  your time.

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