I’m worried about pleasing my new younger man after a celibate marriage
DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER a celibate marriage, I’m now dating a much younger man – but I’m worried I won’t be able to satisfy him in bed.
We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months, and I’ve run out of excuses not to sleep with him.
I’m 42 and my boyfriend is 30. He’s lovely – kind, funny, intelligent and really into me.
My ex husband had impotence issues, and refused to go to the doctor or get help. It destroyed my self-confidence and made me feel so ugly.
After five years without sex, I’d had enough, and divorced him.
When I met my boyfriend I couldn’t believe anyone so great would be interested in me.
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He’s been very respectful so far, accepting my reasons for not having sex.
But I can tell he’s getting – understandably – fed up. We’re not teenagers, or religious, and a kiss at the front door isn’t normal.
I dearly want to have sex with him, but it’s been about 10 years since I had any kind of intimacy.
I’m frankly terrified. I can barely remember what to do in bed, and I fear I will be a total letdown.
Not to mention that his youth means he’ll probably have lots more energy than me, and I won’t be able to keep up.
What can I do?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Good sex isn’t about performance, but communication. Even experienced lovers take time to get to know each other’s bodies, likes and dislikes.
Be honest with him. Tell him you really want to sleep with him, but are nervous.
Let him take the lead and let yourself go. You won’t have forgotten.
My support packs Raising Self-Esteem, and How To Thrill A Man In Bed, should help.