Trump Can't Stop Talking About Assassination Attempt At RNC

It was the fourth night of what felt like the eleventy bazillionth night of the Republican National Convention Shitfest in which they trotted out their best and brightest, like Kid Rock, and Hulk Hogan, the latter of which dressed in drag to do a terrible rendition of ‘Born This Way’ by the queen of all things, Lady Gaga. I’m sure he didn’t have an ulterior motive in mind, like a pardon for his (alleged!) scammy crimes. And yet, Hulk raged against criminals and whatnot. Projection was a theme at the RNC.

Eric Trump was not well received by the audience, and that’s probably because he’s Eric Trump.

And then, Trump finally arrived with his nice-time totally not dysfunctional family members, and even his wifebot Melania showed up, too. Such a loving family! I’m sure they did not do another prenup before the Convention. But they walked in separately, just like they have separate bedrooms. You can feel the love.

Lumpy, of course, launched a dialogue about the assassination attempt, saying that” the bullet "hit me really, really hard,” falsely adding that "tens of thousands" of people were at the rally. Trump said the “crowd thought I was dead."

The felon said, "Actually, most did, that I was dead. They knew it was a shot to the head."

Thank you for the breaking news, Mr. Man.

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