What You Learn From Love and Loss
This is an open letter to you. This is an open letter to anyone. These words can be used for whomever, whenever, wherever. Let these words help you, as they have helped me.
1. You Deserve Good Love
First a foremost, you are worthy of a breath-taking, heart-stopping, and life-changing kind of love. One way or another when a relationship ends, you learn that you deserve this kind of love. Perhaps your partner was unable to give you this kind of love or maybe they were able to, but it still had to end. Either way, you learn that you deserve the most enriching and fulfilling love.
2. You Should Always Be The First Choice
When someone loves you, you become the priority. You are the ‘first choice’. After a loving relationship ends, you learn that you should never settle for ‘second choice’ in another relationship. Loving someone and being loved in return can show you that your love should always be the one on top.
3. Your Love Was Worth It
Regardless of how it ended, your love was worth it. Everything you learned, everything you lost was worth it in the end. Loving another is a terribly beautiful experience, but it’s better to have had these feelings than to never have felt them before.
4. Your Shared Moments Are Still Valuable
The time that you spent with your love is still happy. Don’t cloud it with sadness. The memories you made and the adventures you had are still dazzling and wonderful. There is value in these moments, even if they are in the past.
5. Your Love Felt Good
At the end of the day, you were loved. Someone truly and wholeheartedly loved you. And guess what? You loved them as well. Your love was fun, it was sweet, and it was comfortable. It felt good. Never doubt that.
6. Your Love Won’t Vanish
As tragic as it is, you will never forget your first love. Instead of trying to block your partner out of your mind, embrace who you were and how you felt. Open your arms to the possibilities of the future, but always remember where you came from and who held your heart for a brief period of time.
7. Never Regret The Love You Shared
Not for one minute should you regret your love. You were loved. How incredible is that? Your love was something beautiful. It was something raw and passionate. Why would you regret a time when someone’s presence made you feel like you could soar above the clouds?
8. You Will Love Again
Loving someone shows you that you can love. You did it. You were vulnerable and shared parts of your soul with another. With time, you can do it again.
9. Always Work Towards A Love That Is Reciprocated
Loving someone and being loved in return teaches you that you should always look for ‘two-way-street- relationships’. Meaning, you learn that you should be with someone who both gives and takes (not just one or the other).
10. The Right VS. The Easy
When someone loves you, it feels as if anything is possible. Yet, when a relationship ends you wonder what on earth happened. Simply put, even if you love each other sometimes life gets in the way. There will come a time when you chose to do something because it is the right thing to do, even if it isn’t the easiest thing to do.
11. Love Your Emotions After It Ends, Even If They Are Ugly And Overwhelming
It is heartbreaking to love someone and then watch it end. Let yourself sink into this sadness. Let your tears stream down your face, let your snot build up and then blow it all out, and let your face feel puffy. Expel this sadness out, let it ooze out of your pores. It’s okay and you will be okay.
12. Your Identity Exists Without Them
It’s hard to remember this when every photo, every story, and every memory seems to revolve around them. Yet, learn that your identity is one that is whole. You were never half a person when you were with them. In your relationship you were whole and you left your relationship whole as well. Your identity is your own, you don’t need to pick up the pieces when they are already all there.
13. They Saw Something In You, You Better To See It Too
Let a past love show you that someone thought you were utterly and unequivocally special. They loved every insecurity and every stupid thought you had about yourself. Even after things are over, never question your worth or your identity. You are exceptional, you always have been and you always will be.
14. The Ending Isn’t The End
Despite whatever movie told you otherwise, past love doesn’t always have to remain in the past. You can reinvent what this love means and how it’s expressed. The end isn’t the ending for you and it’s not the end for them. It’s an adjustment as you reevaluate what your new normal becomes.
15. Love Who You Are Becoming
You are a shining star. Your past love showed you how to feel this way. Love that you are becoming stronger, wiser, and more sure of yourself. While you learn so many things from someone who used to love you, it is paramount that you recognize the love you once shared and in return learn to forever love who you are becoming.